Category Archives: Advice

How do I know you…?

Posted on by
Reply

She pinged me on one of the most laziest days of my life …

She asked – “Hi!!! How do i know you???”

For which i had no answer, Lord Google didn’t help, The Order of Orkut didnt help, staring at her photo for 10 min, doing a simultaneous name-to-face search and facial-recognition program on the reels of life gave “No Match Found”.

Getting ready to make a complete ‘rear-end’ out of myself, i told her “I don’t know”. She surprised me by greeting ‘G’d morning’ when it was half-an-hour past 3 in the noon and made me look like an idiot when she answered “Working for a project” to my question of “What are you doing in office on a Sunday?”. Made me think if she was was bitten by a well known Libran.

Whom so ever said, one cant beg on his knees on a chat, you now look like an absolute blossomed bottom!!! I forfeit if it was a game she was playing on me. For a person, looking so cute in her photos, to chat with a stranger for so long, proved to be quite mysterious. She vowed she had no clue.

She left me clue less, high and dry on chat. All i know is that she will be at the same location where my business travel is taking me to…

(P.S. – I did make a complete ass out of myself while chatting to her and in fact she stopped chatting after 30min. A personal best !!!)

Piece of advise : dont chat with anyone when you are drowsy, hungry, tired, lazy and have tasty food by your side .. icon biggrin How do I know you...?

Wedding Bells!!! Uhh What? Where’s my BFG?

Posted on by
8

(Still wondering what a BFG is? read on…)

I was there, standing at a railway crossing. I can walk across the rails and go ahead on the road, on my way, where ever it can take me. But, No! I park my bike and start walking on the railway line. Minutes and hours pass by. I come across green meadows, houses, hills; it was a timeless journey. No thirst, no hunger, no pain, nothing. It was me, the railway line and the view. I don’t know how far i was walking. The sun was there shining high up in the sky. He never moved. I was lost in my thoughts.

It has been quite sometime that I’ve started hearing some strange sounds. It sounded like the ringing bell of an old steam-locomotive. Ting…. Ting…. Ting….

I was high on my spirits. After a long walk, i have a train to go forward. This was like the ultimate dream. Or am i dreaming? I stop to turn around. What the…. my legs are glued to the ground. I cant move!!!. I was struggling like hell to free myself. Behind me i could see the dust and smoke rising up in the horizon. What ever it may be, the dream was just about to turn ugly. My heart’s beating a 1000 beats per minute.

I look behind. I see a shining far behind. Its small, its fast and its coming my way. I’m struggling like hell. I hear the bell ringing even closer. I turn behind… What the #$#%^&^(*(&)(*_)… a pandit with neatly shaved head, big pony tail flying behind him, ringing his bell with one hand and a ‘portable’-fireplace (might be some new 21st century invention).. running towards me. What on heaven’s sake is that?

“Son”, holy crap!!! its my dad, standing to my right.

“What… How… Why…”

“Son”, jeeezzzz, its my mom, standing to my left.

“What… What are you guys doing here?”

“Tie the knot my son!!!”, they both say that with absolute precision that can even leave the most meticulously synchronized systems to shame.

“Tie what?”, i look in front of me and i almost faint. I’m holding a ‘mangalsuthru’ and there is this girl standing in front of me. I don’t know jack shit about her. Is this a right time to at least ask her name?. What am i doing …

Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting …….

I was still sweating and breathing heavily as i jumped out of my bed. Checked around me and all round my flat just to make sure that i didn’t really wake up after my first-night… or worse 20 years after my marriage. So why do i get the feeling that this is what is going to happen to me????

Parental-pressure is high! By parental-pressure i mean damn crazy pressure that can cause you to go sleepless for days at end. If i thought that could only be the only one which can cause unrest in my serene life, i was wrong. There was… No… there IS a far more greater pressure that will eventually get happy bachelors to get married. Its scientifically called Peer-Pressure a.k.a Friends.

Celibacy is not my way of life. But Yes, face it! Its your FRIENDS who will eventually get you married. They will all be there. They are the greatest treasure that u can have. Even long after you are gone, you will live within your friends. ‘Gone’ as in not like you are dead. ‘Gone’ as in, you go on-site and they will still talk about you as, ‘Kaminaa Saala!!! On-site se kuch nahi leke aayega. Fakeeerrrr…’. You live now, not after you’re dead.

They are there. But have you ever though about what happens when they all eventually face the running-pandit, gets run over by him, never gets a chance to wake up and lives the ‘dream’. Oops you’re in trouble.

They all get married and start their family. They no longer enjoy the jokes that you shared. Even worse they even reach a point where they tell you, “Dude don’t talk about all that, she doesn’t like all that”. Worse still, his wife hates you and more worse, her husband starts having feelings for you.

Oops! your friend will change. They all change eventually and you are left alone. You just cant go and make more friends because, the ‘make-great-friends’ list gets shorter with age. Soon you will find yourself without the great friends that you used to hand out with, no new friends and you are being treated like an adult where ever you go. And i believe the later stage is definitely not where i want to find myself at.

So now there is even more pressure on you to get married…

Whats that… Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting… Where is that BFG (Big Fucking Gun), i’m gonna kill that pandit…

WTF… its full platoon of relatives and friends marching towards me. Dad and Mom holding a garland each, friends with kids and its then i realize that the pandit was just a side-kick.

I just stand there like a scapegoat as they dance around me… Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting…

Writer’s Block : WTF !!!! Fuck it, I’m back

Posted on by
Reply

Writers Block : WTF !!!! Fuck it, Im backI was there. It didn’t feel great.

I was scared, i was lost, i was wandering in the dark.

I hit the Writer’s Block.

Trust me its a damn scary place. Felt good when i reached there, mainly due to the fact that i was busy at work and i was in no way even getting time to pee. Forced into the dark the force grew weaker in me. Two days back i faced the bitter reality that i had hit the block, i shouldn’t have taken the left turn at the T-junction at the dead-end, for what joy?, i have no idea.

Goddess Wikipedia (a.k.a. Goddess Saraswathi in Hindu Mythology), describes Writer’s Block as :

Writer’s block is a phenomenon involving temporary loss of ability to begin or continue writing, usually due to lack of inspiration or creativity.

Naah!!! Nothing of these caused my condition. I had inspiration(lots of it) and i had lots to write but i didn’t. Why? I needed a reason and today i have a reason to write. Breaking the door, like Rajani, i’m out with the reason i needed (I wish it was more like a girl that i walked out with).

20th Sept, 15th Oct and this one on the 30th of Oct, that was the frequency of my posts in the last 2 months.

Looking back i ponder what made me stop, was it the work or was it something more noir. Yes, work was one of the reasons, undeniably. 20+ hrs of working on a single day, my friends began referring me as IBM‘s bitch. Getting adjusted to the new life was one definite factor. But when i search deep it was something more than that. One that pains me still, tried shrugging it off, but couldn’t, it still lingers in the darkest thoughts. It can be described as one that is scariest for a writer. I was never credited for something that i wrote. Even my closest friends didnt acknowledge the fact that it was me. Bang! i got a “500 Internal Server Error” when i was expecting a “200 OK” with “Connection: Keep-Alive”.

Any way its all behind me, and i at least think that i’m back.

BTW my lingo has now been reduced into the results of an aftermath of heavy AS2/AS3 testing, with heavy dosage of XML and Development team that doesnt consent to bugs.

Taken this opportunity, if u would like anyone who is coming across this post to share, what made them hit writer’s block and how they did eventually overcome it….

icon smile Writers Block : WTF !!!! Fuck it, Im back

Single, Sex and Marriage

Posted on by
8

Of late, especially after i booked my flat, my folks are after me, pressurizing every bit inside me to get married. Well, thought you should know, i’ve been a bachelor and i had my share of heart breaks and breakings. After the last one, i just decided to settle with the drunk chicks at the pubs or rather get’em drunk. But how the hell am i supposed to know that my folks were having such plans for me. Trust me, its tough to be a single, good looking, smart dark bachelor down south (i love vanity). The nosy neighbors and relatives makes sure that the juice is sucked out of you. Damn you Suckers!!!

The hard part is, you don’t get to choose or say a word beyond telling yes/no to the girls that they parade in front of you. I consider myself lucky, some guys i *knew* never even had that.

Son! THIS IS YOUR BRIDE! Marry HER!

Yes dad!!!

I mean whats the whole pressure thing about? I’ve been a really well spoiled bachelor so far, waking up and sleeping with the timings of people half-way round the world, eating anything that i could lay my hands on – stale breads, half-cooked spicy chicken curry that cleans your food-track once a month, Domino’s pizzas that run for 2 days etc. etc.. Now i’m being even more responsible by booking a flat (i need to mention that it was again pressure from folks). Now that i have a place for myself, the next thing that i need to concentrate is my career, blogging, make some money etc etc. I’m not ready to be tied down.

What are the odds, that the girl they pick for you is not gonna make your life miserable? Dad’s got a comeback for that too, “At least both the families are there to help you out with that”. Then why cant i just find someone with whom i’m comfortable with? Facts to be laid straight, yes they did take care of you for a long time, but do they have to pick up your partner too.

Am i ready to take the responsibility? Hell no! May be i would like to get married, after i know that person a bit more. If not, then jumping into marriage is no different than having sex, with her and your parent’s consent!

As a closing note, the last conversation with my dad ended with him telling me this -

“As a bachelor, you live like a King and die like a Dog, Once married, you live like a Dog and die like a King”

No idea who put that in his head, but i sure did got it out. Even my mom was left gaping after that dialogue.

Deadly Competition

Posted on by
1

What we do these days involves competition. No matter what. A a kid we race to the gate and back. As teens we race our bikes. As adults we race against time and colleagues. The time that we live in Competition is viewed as the source of creativity and self improvement. As a kid we are expected to be the top scorer in the class, not the smartest, as teens we are expected to be responsible but not creative and as the workforce we are expected to bring in profit and not innovation.

Why does competition has to be so bad? Slowly but steadily everyone starts to keeps expectations out of you and keeps reminding you about that. You fall victim to it losing your creativity. Its because we want to beat that record and get our names in there. We benchmark every thing everyday, we fall into The Curse of Great Expectation.

But what about creativity? If i have ever done anything that is creative or innovated an idea, its because i didn’t take part in a race. On the same grounds i hate taking exams too. Exams for me is again about breaking records and false derivatives. With time being most valued, exams seems to be the only way people want to find talents.

There is a trend with the organizations now. They are still competing and very much in the race. They do it in more ‘innovative’ ways. They ask you to just innovate and come up with some thing very brilliant. Even if you didn’t mean that to be part of any race or drive the race. Its used by the organization to outrun their competitor.

The human cost to win the organization’s race or the cost of health on onself is often disregarded. But what happens to those who stay out of the competition and decide to be .. uhh .. say free. They have immense potential to be creative and inventive. But why don’t they?.

The Society is stereotyped in believing that competing is the best way to progress. So much of the things that these so called ‘free birds’ innovate are considered inferior. They eventually gets into the race to survive or fall.

I knew of a person during my college days. He was this extra brilliant guy. There wasn’t much that he couldn’t answer about technology. Few professors realized his potential. But but the rest of the folks were unforgiving. Had the mentoring right he wouldn’t had to settle for a rather uhhh normal techie kind of job with an average company.

Its time we wake up to say no to the unwanted competitions around us.