Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity!

I could feel her heart beat. It was racing up. Her breathing became heavier with each passing moment. She held me tight and squeezed her against me.

Inching closer, i felt her lips against mine. I slipped into sweet seduction.

Ok period! This post is not meant to be of any pornographic value. The intend of this post is to announce my engagement on my blog. icon smile Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity!

Well, apparently after reading the title and then the first two lines, someone might have got a heart attack and as i’m typing this i’m laughing out loud. Yes the repercussions of this post will be quite sour, but i like the 10sec fun at times. No its not my fiance whom i’m fearing (i’ll fear her post engagement), but its her mother. Yes my Mother-in-law icon smile Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity!

Well she apparently goes through my blog and makes it a point that she reads my twitter feeds too. So this was my way of telling her – “This is me Jerry and i’ll be marrying your daughter icon biggrin Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity! !!!”. Oh, i can so visualize her in my mind right now. The phone at my home ringing, my folks coming to know about the post and they reading it and it all adding up to the visits on my site.

The what the heck is the title about? Well i’m losing my bachelorhood and that is almost as equivalent my virginity. Have been carefree, lived by my own terms, raced my bike on roads, went on late night drives, partied all night, slept through the day. No one to ask why? No one to ask where? But now its all changing. Isn’t that an important phase. I bet!. I will be stepping into responsibilities (yikes!!!) and relations(yawn!!) and have to keep’em all my life. But to tell ya, its a good feeling. Trust me, you should give it a try. But dont blame me if u crash and burn.

Now the details. kindly read the F.A.Qs and if that doesnt answer the questions post your query in the comments and i will reply to it.

Kindly note that questions like “Did you tell her about the night that you sneaked into your ex-girlfriends bedroom and kissed her for the first time?” will be promptly deleted and wont see the light ever again. Though the answer to that will be “No!” icon smile Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity! . What! You want me to get myself killed or what? Stan icon biggrin Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity! , i guess you get the point!!!

Frequently Asked Questions.

Q. Whats her name and location?
A. Bhavna. Hails from Cochin.

Q. What does she do?
A. Working at a s/w company in Chennai.

Q. So does that mean that she is a techie like you and is into blogging?
A. No! and i’m fine with it. Well one of a kind is all thats needed in a family. Have doubts ask my mother-in-law.

Q. Does that mean that you will be shifting to Chennai after wedding?
A. No. She will join me here in Bangalore.

Q. What are you getting as dowry?
A. Nothing! Dowry is illegal. In fact i’m losing stuffs. How about my bachelorhood to start with.

Q. When is the engagement?
A. November 15th, 2009. The Wyte Fort Cochin. Some time after 11AM.(Google Maps Link)

Q. When is the wedding?
A. One at a time plz. Let me get over the engagement first icon smile Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity!

Q. What should i do if i want to attend the function?
A. Call me or drop me an e-mail and we shall make some arrangements.

icon smile Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity! You have thus been invited… (if my in-laws doesnt kill me before the function)

Things i noticed in 3 days in God’s Own Country (Kerala)

kerala alleppey2 Things i noticed in 3 days in Gods Own Country (Kerala)There is no point in me saying – ‘most part of my life i have been a mallu’. It doesnt really make any sense. I’m a mallu and i’m damn proud of it. But over the last 4 years i have stayed more in the garden city (Bangalore, you jack-ass!!!), than at my home town Kayamkulam (we proudly say that we are from the place of Kerala’s most famed highwayman Kayamkulam Kochunni). So now i’m not a Kannadiga (yet), but has been away from home for quite long enough to notice the subtle things about my place, that i wouldnt have noticed otherwise.

1. The Beef Curry – If you are in Kerala, just drop into any of the road side hotels (as with all places, just look at the cleanliness part a bit before you settle down), order yourslef a plat of beef-curry or beef-fry with porota. Its one of the best combination of food and if have made the choice of place correct then 4 porota and a plate of hot beef-curry wont cost you more than 50bucks

2. Guys on bike – Ok here i’m talking about guys between 20-25 years. These jackasses dont know how to ride a bike and if i was here i would have ended up just like them. They start the bike, both feet are off the ground and its 10secs of front-wheel wobbling before they pick up speed and then later their balance. If anything fails in between then back to square one. They have been the biggest headache for me while driving.

3. KSRTC SuperFast Buses – The only thing red in the place other than the menacing CPM politicos are the state run public transport buses – The KSRTC. Starting their fleet from Ordinary, Ordinary Fast, Venad (white and blue), Limited Stop, Fast Passenger, Limited Stop Fast Passenger, Super Fast, Super Express (green in color) and the luxury Volvo (white). The best in line i say are the Super Fast buses. People prefer them for journey that lasts up to 6hrs because the buses make their own rules and the drivers, at any given point, are trying to do an F1 qualifier.

4. Auto Drivers in Trivandrum and Alappey – The best auto drivers are from Kozhikodu. That i dont know. But from what i know the best auto drivers are from Trivandrum and Alappey, they might ask for more, but ask them to go via meter, most of them will kindly oblige.

5. The choice of news – We prefer the local news of murder/rape/smuggling/hawala/suicide/accident/bribery/raid more than what goes on with the nation. I said we ‘prefer’, just that other news takes a backseat. We still have time to discuss about other things after we are done with the daily news analysis. After the Paul-Murder that filled the news, Sex-racket in Cochin is gaining momentum. And if not that then we will find something else.

6. Public Holidays, Celebrations and Hartal – Someone banned ‘bandh’ couple of years back and ever since its ‘hartal’ for everything. Last year my mom told me that there were 52 un-official holidays, thanks to the hartals. Hartals are treated a bit differently. The whole family is together, some good movie will be aired on tv, so it basically ends up having a semi-festive feeling about it. Hinduism, Christianity and Islam 3 major religions and hence we have 3 major festive seasons – Onam, Christam and Ramzan. Hinduism is not strict like its outside the state. The fact that has been proved with almost everyone having Beef (the meat of cow tastes better than the ox icon wink Things i noticed in 3 days in Gods Own Country (Kerala) )

and i love it in here …

Twestival 2009 Bangalore – A walk through

badge Twestival 2009 Bangalore   A walk throughThe Twestival 2009 Bangalore has been long over and i’m not going to report on the event. The event was fun all together. I was transferring the photos from my mobile and i stumbled up on the pics that i took during Image 067 150x150 Twestival 2009 Bangalore   A walk throughTwestival. Added on some of the lighter moments of the event.

Twestival was organized for charity and i believe they did good. The highlight for the day for me was the free beer. Yes, free booze and i’m there. The first pint is free, the second drink onwards the money goes to charity. Pause!

The guy who runs TechBangalore, yes H. N. Prashanth, the guy who orders ‘ondu masala dosa, ondu cutting chai’, changed his order to ‘ondu masala dosa, ondu beer’. Yes! he drank for charity icon biggrin Twestival 2009 Bangalore   A walk through

That was the effect that Twestival had on the twitterati.

It was a Saturday morning and i had promised Daaku, that i will join in for the Twestival. So got up, brushed, cleaned myslef, put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that had the IBM logo on the sleeve and RedBulls written Image 069 150x150 Twestival 2009 Bangalore   A walk throughon the chest. Landed at the place for twestival and i realized immediately that i made a mistake with my attire. I wore a Halloween costume for a Thanks Giving dinner… oops!!! Worst of all, people miss took me for a guy from Red-Bull, didn’t they notice the ‘s’ at the end of the Bull, icon sad Twestival 2009 Bangalore   A walk through

The most embarrassing part, that no one knew – Nakul Shenoy, yes the magician, the techie who only learned to do anonymous mem-reads on other unsuspecting people, was done with his show (which was brilliant btw), dressed up in plain formal attitre and came all the way to the place where we twitterers were having a merry time and joined us in tweeting. First thought that crossed my mind, ‘I have seen this guy somewhere… Where?… Have i met him before?’. It took me full 15mins to realize that it was the same guy on stage reading other people’s thoughts. (Hope he didn’t read my thought at that point)

Prashanth proved that he is a bigger techie, when i complained that i cant find a free wifi to connect to. He took out his Nokia phone and said ‘No problem, wait a few secs, i’ll connect via GPRS and make my phone a wifi hot-spot, then you connect to my phone..’. My jaws were on the floor … LOL

WTF List of Wedding Gifts!

Wedding+Gift WTF List of Wedding Gifts!I’m not the marriage kind of guy, but even i’m pretty much sure about what is considered as cliche or lame for a wedding gift. But time and again i see people not even caring for what they want to give as gift. If you cant find a right gift, then better dont buy anything. Later, for sure, you can find one and gift the couple.

Here is my list of items that i think is lame and useless -

  1. Flowers – totally WTF!
  2. Wall clock – Totally lame
  3. Dinner Set – I have no clue why people gift this
  4. DVDs and CDs – Strict no no (i did the mistake and had to pay dearly)
  5. Teddy Bears – This aint a birthday party you bone head!
  6. Cushions – Yes i have seen people gifting wrapped up cushions.. WTWTF!!!

If you have a worse item. Feel free to add along…

A Worthless Existence

It’s really interesting how many senseless people you live with or you had to live with. A total embarassment to the human race. My latest project is to find and exterminate each one of them, no kidding!!!. But its fun when you look back and realize that, ‘Hey he was a real dick-head!’. Makes me laugh everytime. Han (Tokyo Drift) said – “Life is simple, You make choices and dont look back!!!”. Though this is a movie dialogue, why cant people understand the message in there. May be they need to watch the movie. Oh wait, they are too busy messing up other people’s life.

By this time the populi (the unfortunate ones reading this) must be wondering what’s the whole post about. Let me get to the point. Though this blog is not a very famous one, i do get my share of crappy comments. The most intereting ones are those that are directed towards me. No i’m not talking about people who call me a dumb-fucking-ass and sick, because my view about something is total crap. I totally enjoy that. I’m talking about the more personal comments.

Yes! i’m talking about the dumb-witted fools, who think that they can come to my site and just comment, expressing derogatory opinions. I tell you, that aint going to make a difference. Before i answer why. Some background info.

I know all the people whom i ever had a rift with, and the causalities of that. I knew most of them from the last 4 years. That means that they are all techies. I pity the employers who got them into their projects. Why? because they live in a shell and only know about what’s happening in that shell. They think that within their miserable little world they make the best deceptive Bond or Mata Hari. How pathetic!!!

Let me tell you this. Learn whats happening in the world. You just can’t drop into my blog and comment what ever you feel like. You leave traces. Yes you might be smart enough to leave a fake name. Then you might be thinking, about the IP of your machine, the proxy server that you used, the fake ‘e-mail’ id that you gave. C’mon that’s so lame! You should know that there are better ways of tracing you out.

Sorry dear!

To the reader : this post is for the one person, who took 12 minutes out of their worthless existence and ‘cared’ to make 3 comments. Oh wait! i wasted my time writing, so did u by reading. Aaarggg!!! what did i tell you about senseless people wasting our time !!!!