Things i noticed in 3 days in God’s Own Country (Kerala)

kerala alleppey2 Things i noticed in 3 days in Gods Own Country (Kerala)There is no point in me saying – ‘most part of my life i have been a mallu’. It doesnt really make any sense. I’m a mallu and i’m damn proud of it. But over the last 4 years i have stayed more in the garden city (Bangalore, you jack-ass!!!), than at my home town Kayamkulam (we proudly say that we are from the place of Kerala’s most famed highwayman Kayamkulam Kochunni). So now i’m not a Kannadiga (yet), but has been away from home for quite long enough to notice the subtle things about my place, that i wouldnt have noticed otherwise.

1. The Beef Curry – If you are in Kerala, just drop into any of the road side hotels (as with all places, just look at the cleanliness part a bit before you settle down), order yourslef a plat of beef-curry or beef-fry with porota. Its one of the best combination of food and if have made the choice of place correct then 4 porota and a plate of hot beef-curry wont cost you more than 50bucks

2. Guys on bike – Ok here i’m talking about guys between 20-25 years. These jackasses dont know how to ride a bike and if i was here i would have ended up just like them. They start the bike, both feet are off the ground and its 10secs of front-wheel wobbling before they pick up speed and then later their balance. If anything fails in between then back to square one. They have been the biggest headache for me while driving.

3. KSRTC SuperFast Buses – The only thing red in the place other than the menacing CPM politicos are the state run public transport buses – The KSRTC. Starting their fleet from Ordinary, Ordinary Fast, Venad (white and blue), Limited Stop, Fast Passenger, Limited Stop Fast Passenger, Super Fast, Super Express (green in color) and the luxury Volvo (white). The best in line i say are the Super Fast buses. People prefer them for journey that lasts up to 6hrs because the buses make their own rules and the drivers, at any given point, are trying to do an F1 qualifier.

4. Auto Drivers in Trivandrum and Alappey – The best auto drivers are from Kozhikodu. That i dont know. But from what i know the best auto drivers are from Trivandrum and Alappey, they might ask for more, but ask them to go via meter, most of them will kindly oblige.

5. The choice of news – We prefer the local news of murder/rape/smuggling/hawala/suicide/accident/bribery/raid more than what goes on with the nation. I said we ‘prefer’, just that other news takes a backseat. We still have time to discuss about other things after we are done with the daily news analysis. After the Paul-Murder that filled the news, Sex-racket in Cochin is gaining momentum. And if not that then we will find something else.

6. Public Holidays, Celebrations and Hartal – Someone banned ‘bandh’ couple of years back and ever since its ‘hartal’ for everything. Last year my mom told me that there were 52 un-official holidays, thanks to the hartals. Hartals are treated a bit differently. The whole family is together, some good movie will be aired on tv, so it basically ends up having a semi-festive feeling about it. Hinduism, Christianity and Islam 3 major religions and hence we have 3 major festive seasons – Onam, Christam and Ramzan. Hinduism is not strict like its outside the state. The fact that has been proved with almost everyone having Beef (the meat of cow tastes better than the ox icon wink Things i noticed in 3 days in Gods Own Country (Kerala) )

and i love it in here …

Twestival 2009 Bangalore – A walk through

badge Twestival 2009 Bangalore   A walk throughThe Twestival 2009 Bangalore has been long over and i’m not going to report on the event. The event was fun all together. I was transferring the photos from my mobile and i stumbled up on the pics that i took during Image 067 150x150 Twestival 2009 Bangalore   A walk throughTwestival. Added on some of the lighter moments of the event.

Twestival was organized for charity and i believe they did good. The highlight for the day for me was the free beer. Yes, free booze and i’m there. The first pint is free, the second drink onwards the money goes to charity. Pause!

The guy who runs TechBangalore, yes H. N. Prashanth, the guy who orders ‘ondu masala dosa, ondu cutting chai’, changed his order to ‘ondu masala dosa, ondu beer’. Yes! he drank for charity icon biggrin Twestival 2009 Bangalore   A walk through

That was the effect that Twestival had on the twitterati.

It was a Saturday morning and i had promised Daaku, that i will join in for the Twestival. So got up, brushed, cleaned myslef, put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that had the IBM logo on the sleeve and RedBulls written Image 069 150x150 Twestival 2009 Bangalore   A walk throughon the chest. Landed at the place for twestival and i realized immediately that i made a mistake with my attire. I wore a Halloween costume for a Thanks Giving dinner… oops!!! Worst of all, people miss took me for a guy from Red-Bull, didn’t they notice the ‘s’ at the end of the Bull, icon sad Twestival 2009 Bangalore   A walk through

The most embarrassing part, that no one knew – Nakul Shenoy, yes the magician, the techie who only learned to do anonymous mem-reads on other unsuspecting people, was done with his show (which was brilliant btw), dressed up in plain formal attitre and came all the way to the place where we twitterers were having a merry time and joined us in tweeting. First thought that crossed my mind, ‘I have seen this guy somewhere… Where?… Have i met him before?’. It took me full 15mins to realize that it was the same guy on stage reading other people’s thoughts. (Hope he didn’t read my thought at that point)

Prashanth proved that he is a bigger techie, when i complained that i cant find a free wifi to connect to. He took out his Nokia phone and said ‘No problem, wait a few secs, i’ll connect via GPRS and make my phone a wifi hot-spot, then you connect to my phone..’. My jaws were on the floor … LOL

WTF List of Wedding Gifts!

Wedding+Gift WTF List of Wedding Gifts!I’m not the marriage kind of guy, but even i’m pretty much sure about what is considered as cliche or lame for a wedding gift. But time and again i see people not even caring for what they want to give as gift. If you cant find a right gift, then better dont buy anything. Later, for sure, you can find one and gift the couple.

Here is my list of items that i think is lame and useless -

  1. Flowers – totally WTF!
  2. Wall clock – Totally lame
  3. Dinner Set – I have no clue why people gift this
  4. DVDs and CDs – Strict no no (i did the mistake and had to pay dearly)
  5. Teddy Bears – This aint a birthday party you bone head!
  6. Cushions – Yes i have seen people gifting wrapped up cushions.. WTWTF!!!

If you have a worse item. Feel free to add along…

A Worthless Existence

It’s really interesting how many senseless people you live with or you had to live with. A total embarassment to the human race. My latest project is to find and exterminate each one of them, no kidding!!!. But its fun when you look back and realize that, ‘Hey he was a real dick-head!’. Makes me laugh everytime. Han (Tokyo Drift) said – “Life is simple, You make choices and dont look back!!!”. Though this is a movie dialogue, why cant people understand the message in there. May be they need to watch the movie. Oh wait, they are too busy messing up other people’s life.

By this time the populi (the unfortunate ones reading this) must be wondering what’s the whole post about. Let me get to the point. Though this blog is not a very famous one, i do get my share of crappy comments. The most intereting ones are those that are directed towards me. No i’m not talking about people who call me a dumb-fucking-ass and sick, because my view about something is total crap. I totally enjoy that. I’m talking about the more personal comments.

Yes! i’m talking about the dumb-witted fools, who think that they can come to my site and just comment, expressing derogatory opinions. I tell you, that aint going to make a difference. Before i answer why. Some background info.

I know all the people whom i ever had a rift with, and the causalities of that. I knew most of them from the last 4 years. That means that they are all techies. I pity the employers who got them into their projects. Why? because they live in a shell and only know about what’s happening in that shell. They think that within their miserable little world they make the best deceptive Bond or Mata Hari. How pathetic!!!

Let me tell you this. Learn whats happening in the world. You just can’t drop into my blog and comment what ever you feel like. You leave traces. Yes you might be smart enough to leave a fake name. Then you might be thinking, about the IP of your machine, the proxy server that you used, the fake ‘e-mail’ id that you gave. C’mon that’s so lame! You should know that there are better ways of tracing you out.

Sorry dear!

To the reader : this post is for the one person, who took 12 minutes out of their worthless existence and ‘cared’ to make 3 comments. Oh wait! i wasted my time writing, so did u by reading. Aaarggg!!! what did i tell you about senseless people wasting our time !!!!

and She is the one …

Love strikes us at the most bizarre points in life. One day you are a happy chap, enjoying life as it comes and then a day comes when you get a feeling in your gut like you never felt before…

It was she who made me realize that i have always been a mama’s boy and she made me change. She lit up my world like the way no one ever did. It was my second year of engineering when i met her for the first time. I being myself, was having a tough time with the new environment and was just about getting to know the batch. By the 4th semester, people were already having a great time, except me. It was at first lab session of the semester that i noticed her. Our Head of Dept. was telling us something on the comp and we were standing in a semicircle around him. I raise my head and i get the first glimpse of her, standing in front of him. She was absolutely stunning that i realized, people could indeed live for few minutes without their hearts beating…

I couldn’t really muster the courage and ask her who she was, where she was from. I began to get a weird feeling down in my gut. I didn’t really knew what that was. For the next few days, i saw her and every moment that i saw her, i wanted her to be mine and only mine. God was at his creative best when he made her. It was not until another week, that i had the courage and the strength to even say a hi to her.

Slowly but steadily, we took our togetherness to new levels. I was cautions as not to upset her in anyway and she was equally cautions. I spoke my heart out and told her how i felt and how naive i was when it came to matters about her. She understood and held my hand. I trembled and looked around to see no one in the lab saw us. Yes she touched me for the first time in the lab. That was the only discreet place that we could meet and raise little suspicion.

Our relationship grew. We learned about each other more and more. The joy of being in each other’s company was overwhelming for both of us. We used to speak for hours at length. By the 7th semester, we had grown more and more intimate and passionate about each other. We were inseparable and this had quite a bit noticed by my friends. They began asking me things related to her and i felt shy to tell them even the most trivial of information about her. It was like she was mine and mine only. I blushed at that thought.

We spent sleepless nights together. Me totally lost in the wilderness of her hair. I made fun of the occasional grey ones that i noticed. She made fun of my relative inexperience and used to remind me, “Jerry, u need to learn a lot about me and how to treat me good…”. She was the sweetest angel that i had ever met.

8th and the final semester, saw us getting too intimate. I began mastering her in her ways and found out that it made her more and more irresistible. One night, when we were next to each other, she held my hand and guided my fingers through the curves, the humps, the troughs, the highways and the heaven. I was totally left spellbound and as i kiss her, i realized we will be together for ever and ever.

College was over in no time and i missed her. I used to take great efforts to just to have her next to me like the days that were etched in memory.

Nov ’05, i came to Bangalore. The city lured me in her seductive charms, and even before i knew, i was being totally unfaithful to my love – i was having an affair. I broke up and confessed all of it to her, word by word and second by second. I knew it would have been totally excruciating for her, but i saw no other way to tell her that i was sorry for being unfaithful and that i still love her with all my life. And i was indeed being true to every word; i just cant imagine a day without her.

She protested, and with some effort and cuddling we were back, she came down to Bangalore to be with me. We loved each other away from prying eyes and curious heads and walked the garden city like Adam and Eve.

Its been 6 years and i have never given up so many things for something. My folks have a tough time understanding the reasons. My friends couldn’t believe that this happened between both of us. I can promise that she is the one in my life and there would never ever be anyone worthy enough to replace her.

Everyday is a new adventure with her. She still teases me for my inexperience and caressing my fingers at the same time. So its without doubt that i say, she is the only true love of my life.

And her name is … Linux

——————–

Read - “I was cautions as not to upset her in anyway and she was equally cautious” – as - “System crashes and reboots
Read - “Me totally lost in the wilderness of her hair. I made fun of the occasional grey ones that i noticed.” – as - “Terminal with the default black bg and white fg
Read - “i was being totally unfaithful …. etc” – as - “Dad bought me a laptop with XP. Day-2 i wiped clean the hdd, along with the rescue partition, and installed Linux
Read - “She still teases me for my inexperience” – as - “I still google and read man pages

(now scroll up and read it again icon smile and She is the one ... )

inspired from – Love and UNIX: An Undying Affection

 and She is the one ...