Sanity Insanity and Moi

I was there. It didn’t feel great.

I was scared, i was lost, i was wandering in the dark.

I hit the Writer’s Block.

Trust me its a damn scary place. Felt good when i reached there, mainly due to the fact that i was busy at work and i was in no way even getting time to pee. Forced into the dark the force grew weaker in me. Two days back i faced the bitter reality that i had hit the block, i shouldn’t have taken the left turn at the T-junction at the dead-end, for what joy?, i have no idea.

Goddess Wikipedia (a.k.a. Goddess Saraswathi in Hindu Mythology), describes Writer’s Block as :

Writer’s block is a phenomenon involving temporary loss of ability to begin or continue writing, usually due to lack of inspiration or creativity.

Naah!!! Nothing of these caused my condition. I had inspiration(lots of it) and i had lots to write but i didn’t. Why? I needed a reason and today i have a reason to write. Breaking the door, like Rajani, i’m out with the reason i needed (I wish it was more like a girl that i walked out with).

20th Sept, 15th Oct and this one on the 30th of Oct, that was the frequency of my posts in the last 2 months.

Looking back i ponder what made me stop, was it the work or was it something more noir. Yes, work was one of the reasons, undeniably. 20+ hrs of working on a single day, my friends began referring me as IBM’s bitch. Getting adjusted to the new life was one definite factor. But when i search deep it was something more than that. One that pains me still, tried shrugging it off, but couldn’t, it still lingers in the darkest thoughts. It can be described as one that is scariest for a writer. I was never credited for something that i wrote. Even my closest friends didnt acknowledge the fact that it was me. Bang! i got a “500 Internal Server Error” when i was expecting a “200 OK” with “Connection: Keep-Alive”.

Any way its all behind me, and i at least think that i’m back.

BTW my lingo has now been reduced into the results of an aftermath of heavy AS2/AS3 testing, with heavy dosage of XML and Development team that doesnt consent to bugs.

Taken this opportunity, if u would like anyone who is coming across this post to share, what made them hit writer’s block and how they did eventually overcome it….

I’m still recovering out the laugh attack that i had in the morning …

More at XKCD

I haven’t been much of a sports person all my life. But i was fit enough to play a match of cricket or a game of basketball. Of late the techie job that i have and my kind of lifestyle started to take a toll on my health. Following my employer’s motto, i ‘THINK’ and i IDEATE but i also took on the activity of IDLE-ating.

How bad did i get? Remember the movie Ice Age and the character Sid. He makes a portrait of himself on the rock and Diego draws a circle around his belly. Ya i started to look like that. Though more in a human form.

2 days back, a head rush or rather a knee jerk decision found me going up to the watchman and asking him the keys to the Gym, at my apartment.

Got into my room, changed and headed to the gym on the terrace. Most of the people are too lazy and more over since it was 7:30 in the evening, i didn’t expect any one to be there at the gym. As i neared i could make out that someone was using the thread-mill.

But Who?

OMG! A girl. And not bad .. she’s hot!!! Now its more of a challenge to me. My right-side of the brain telling my left-leg to step forward and enter the gym. At the same time my left-side of the brain ordering the right-leg to turn back. In that split second i almost did a 180 deg split, like Bruce Lee.

Snap! and i’m in the gym. I’m all too serious now. Kept the keys and the mobile by the window. Looked at her and said a ‘Hi’ and introduced myself. Hmmm.. she is smart. Doing her 2nd year BSc Computer Science at Christ College. And she answers to “Manisha”.

“C’mon tiger! You can do it. Be cool. Do what you are here for. Ask her for a date! No No .. Do the damn exercise. If not, you will eventually look like Sid. Then even if you are migrating to avoid the Ice Age you wont even be half as lucky as Sid. Your story will end at the hands of the Rhinos.”

Ok, straight away, for the dumbbells. Hmm 10Kg, lifted it.. naah too heavy. Ahhh, 5Kg, i picked one in each hand. In any given situation people will lift the dumbbell one at time, bottom-up, pumping their biceps. I didn’t.

May be because i was praying to God not to mess up and may be that Jesus decided to play a prank with me, i did the worst thing ever. I lifted them shoulder height with my arms stretched out to the sides. Yes, Jesus got me crucified in a dumbbell situation. And the 30 year old crucified virgin started having fun with me. I began bringing them both forward and then back all in an arm stretched situation. I began clapping with 5Kg dumbbells. I only clapped twice, had to keep them back as i realized it would be a nice time to put’em back.

After that i did ask her some thing and we did talk for like 10 sec. But i was too fucked with what i did, i just cant remember.

Well by that time she was done with the thread-mill. I thought, ok now its time to show her what i can do on a thread mill. I will just run till she leaves.My eyes just popped out when i saw that she was running for 30min flat. So, lets just walk on the thread-mill.

Noooo! she just got the mat and is about to do something lying on the floor. What do i ask her? What do i ask her? Wait my mobile is still near the window. I will ask her to get hat for me and i can thanks her for that…

“Excuse me! Can you please get me my mobile… Its there near the window”

“Sure”, she promptly gets me my mobile… Mobile you lucky bastard.

I take the mobile from her, still walking very proudly on the thread-mill, keeps it in the holder, which was looking more like a bottle holder and then revert

“Sorry, Thank You, I’m “.

She just smiles and walks away.

What ever i did never got me sweating, but that dialog just sure did get me all sweating. From that moment onwards i just walked and never looked at her!!!

P.S. : I’m thankful that she doesnt have the Tuss-Effect !!!

So happy that i’m having net at home, i try and open Twitter.

Guess what this is the message that i get…

What are the chances …

Just read along the 1337 series

Part - 1

Part - 2

Part - 3

Part - 4

Part - 5

Simply awesome …

A friend of mine once said, when you are watching the movie ‘Partner’, leave your logic at home and the movie is entertaining. So it follows that, at times when my friends invite me to watch a Hindi movie, i just pack-off my logic to a holiday at the Bahamas. It applies to all mindless comedies that have come out in the name of entertainment. Some makes it through, but some just fail.

Of late Akshay has had a string of comedy movies under his belt and most of them were with the gorgeous Katrina Kaif. Singh is Kinng is no different, but there is something fresh about the comedy and it really makes sense.

Lets just say that the movie does justice to itself. Its a very simple story of Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar), who would just do anything to help you out.Happy is there to help you if you need it or not. But there is a problem, he has got a negative ‘Midas touche’. He leaves a trail of destruction when he sets out to help someone. Its his golden heart that wins him other’s hearts. Rangeela (Om Puri) and the rest of the villagers like Happy, but Happy’s helping hand is now everyone’s headache.

Then there is Lucky Singh(Sonu Sood) a.k.a King, who is a Don in Australia. King has had many close calls on his life. One fine day when King’s dad fall sick, Rangeela makes a plan to get rid of Happy by sending him to Australia to get King, but finds himself having to join Happy. With some sudden turn of events Happy and Rangeela find themselves in Egypt, where he meets Sonia (Katrina Kaif).

What follows is some nicely scripted comedy and the events that make Happy to be the new King! Nothing more to add to the spoilers, so guys enjoy Happy’s journey to Australia. It will sure tickle you to the bones.

Things to watch out for (or rather not to watch) :

Uff!!!! Katrina, she is gorgeous, she is damn sexy, but she is there just to fit in the role of a heroine. Neha Dupia still gets a fair amount of scenes and dialogues. Katrina’s dialogue is still half-Hindi and half-British and never runs more than half-a-page, even if every line was put together. Even after so many movies, her expressions remind me of the Hollywood actor Steven Segal. With Steven Segal you cant make out what his expression is - he kills, shoots, kisses, cries - all with the same constipated look. With Katrina, oh god, its always the Vogue-cover-model look. Damn it even when she is crying, its the same!

The fun part of the movie is, most of the actors who has been the regular villains and the serious characters, playing a comical role. Ranvir Shorey still pays the unfortunate lover. The song with Snoop Dogg would have been better if the Hindi rap part was done by, say Hard Kaur or Bombay Rockers or somebody else.

Highlights of the Movie :

• Katrina’s gorgeous looks (again and again and again)
• The opening scene of Akshay
• Neha Dupia - all sizzling
• The Hindi version of ‘corn-flakes’ - LOL
• The scene where all of them get to discuss on Happy and Sonia - ROTFLOL
  
• Javed Jaffery

Pritam has come up with some real good songs that have been packed really well, just like the icing on top of the cake. The title track has already made a mark.

ENOUGH! - i wont misguide you any more or get you misguided by the high minded critics in town who fail to appreciate simple things in life and movies, who look for reasons under the earth and beyond the sky to say bad things about any and every movie ever made unless they are paid well enough to say otherwise OR unless they are member of the ‘Bollywood’s Mutual Admiration Society’ or ‘Star Power Sucker’s Club’, and before you fall victim of the vicious process of letting someone else decide what film you should and shouldn’t watch…let me tell you, - Watch the movie without fail! Full Paisa Vasool!

Singh is Kinng!!!

(Cross-posted here)

Here it is, after 2-3 sleepless nights and sleeping in office, i have the new look for my site.

From

which i called SIMv2.0, I have moved to SIMv3.0, which look like this

Thanks to Bob (http://www.blogohblog.com/) for his Limau Orange Theme, which i took as the base and then modified it extensively for this new theme.

Any way, hope you all like the new look and waiting for your feed backs and comments.

I’ll be really grateful if you can send me some of the errors that you notice, as it was done during sleep deprived nights ..

Happy Blogging 

This one is a general intro to blogging. Its the same one that i did at Wipro but with modifications.

I have the Calvin and Hobbes theme for this one.

This is the Blogging for Business slides. Its Dilbert themed

Never ever did i expect that something that i follow as a passion would get me a chance to conduct a session at one of the best business schools in north India.

Last week-end, i flew to Delhi and on Saturday i was at BIMTECH, Greater Noida, for a session on blogging and the monetary benefits of blogging. The E-Cell of BIMTECH had contacted Mutiny for help and i took the offer.

The session was planned at 6p.m.. You really have to appreciate the guys who study at b-schools, a session at 6p.m. was nothing for them. Other colleges too were invited for the workshop and there were indeed people present at that time of the evening on a Saturday evening.

The session kicked off after a brief intro about the speaker, ahhmmmm that’s me :), and about Mutiny and of course about my friend Mayank (yes its the StudioWordpress guy!!! - http://mayankgupta.com or http://mayank.info ). Mayank was supposed to be on time and help me out with the session, but he was caught up with an emergency Snooker game-session. Well he did turn up to save me for the last 30min :).

I started off at the same grounds from where i started the blogging session at Wipro. Telling them everything that i knew about blogging, etiquette, etc etc. But there was a flaw. Most of the people who were there didn’t know how to start a blog. By ’start a blog’ i mean they didn’t know even how to get a blog at blogger. The lesson - get to know the people and the requirements before we start.

So STOP!!! Get back to the basics. Took them through the live demo of setting up a blog in Blogger. So when all was set, and everyone was on the same page, we were back to where we stopped.

Mayank was just in time as i was getting warmed up with the business side of blogging. Talked about some of the ways that i knew about making money out of blogging. Though i have to mention that i’m too lazy for a blogger that i don’t earn as much as others do, out of blogging.

The idea of a community blog was something new to them. The facts on how Mutiny has grown and maintains itself interested them.

After that it was Mayank’s turn to help everyone with the things that he knows. The way he earns his living was interesting to listen to and i’m quite sure that it would have opened up some idea for those who were listening.

The fact that interested me a lot was the volume of idea that people had for blogging. They all wanted to blog for so many reasons and they just wanted to know how.

Put together the session was one that’s one of the most memorable. I’m taking back some very valuable learnings and some ideas with me.

More pics here

Blogging Wordshop at BIMTECH

If any BIMTECH guys are reading this, i would like you to give me you feedbacks and comments too ..

(Cross-posted here)

Ya ya ya, The UPA government won the trust vote. Now everybody is happy, lets say the UPA and its allies are at least happy that the nuclear deal will happen without any glitch.

So whats keeping the Left in the news, well they have dutifully expelled Somnath Chattergee, as of now!!!

And the BJP, the poor saffron brigade had MPs that switched sided, took money etc etc and are finding themselves in their pool of shit.

As for the wanna-be PM or rather the future PM, Rahul Gandhi, his speech at the parliament was meant to be patriotic. Its amazing when somebody out of the blue has a burst of patriotism. The wanna-be PM Lalooji (i will only call him lalooji as he is the only devil around with an angel’s halo - look at the railways), he sure did crack some dialogues and made his point on the Lok Sabha floor. At least he had the balls to say that he wants to be the PM, may be not now but later (great!!!). I would rather see the nation run by him than by Mayawathi.

So you thought that everything is going to settle and die down after the trust vote? That we will have our so called ‘nuclear-deal’, of which half of the debating politicos have no idea what its about, going through and life will go on as normal. I cant believe that somebody as dumb witted as the Muslim League (or one of their clones) comes up the brightest allegation - Nuclear Deal is anti-Muslim!!!.

Well Nuclear-deal is done or rather will be. Now what will i do for my entertainment. At home the trust vote sparked so much of interest that after we lost our borrowed tuner-card back to whom it belonged to, my room mates went on a buying spree. They bought a new internal tuner-card and DAMN!! the thing never worked. They had to cuddle themselves in front of the streaming video that they could salvage out of the Wimax connection. Next day i reach home to find an external tuner-card. Great!!!Perfect!!!

When all my hope was lost - Ram Sethu pops up. Ok! i’m sorry, i thought we done with that controversy a long time ago. Naaahhh, the government needs something to remain in news. The latest news says that Ram nuked the Sethu after he was done with Lanka. So what? Preserve it!!! Preserve something that is speculated to be God’s creation and let the freight ships make a Lanka journey. Let the price of goods carried by the ships to the Bengal coast be more, let the people suffer.

But hey wait a sec!!! why is it that we have controversy and allegation and political drama filling up the air-waves. Guys, just rewind a new weeks back. What was it that hit the news then? INFLATION!!! and we were damn sure that the Government couldn’t do much about it, than sit and watch. The price of a barrel of crude oil just went beyond Mars and there was no stopping the inflation arrow. But what happened???

Aren’t we still in that same phase. Aren’t we still facing the Inflation terror???

Ohh wait!!! the govt has diverted all public attention to Nuclear-deal.. Ohh that’s done.. its Ram Sethu now!!!!

Enjoy the Price Hike!!!!