Sanity Insanity and Moi

I was there. It didn’t feel great.

I was scared, i was lost, i was wandering in the dark.

I hit the Writer’s Block.

Trust me its a damn scary place. Felt good when i reached there, mainly due to the fact that i was busy at work and i was in no way even getting time to pee. Forced into the dark the force grew weaker in me. Two days back i faced the bitter reality that i had hit the block, i shouldn’t have taken the left turn at the T-junction at the dead-end, for what joy?, i have no idea.

Goddess Wikipedia (a.k.a. Goddess Saraswathi in Hindu Mythology), describes Writer’s Block as :

Writer’s block is a phenomenon involving temporary loss of ability to begin or continue writing, usually due to lack of inspiration or creativity.

Naah!!! Nothing of these caused my condition. I had inspiration(lots of it) and i had lots to write but i didn’t. Why? I needed a reason and today i have a reason to write. Breaking the door, like Rajani, i’m out with the reason i needed (I wish it was more like a girl that i walked out with).

20th Sept, 15th Oct and this one on the 30th of Oct, that was the frequency of my posts in the last 2 months.

Looking back i ponder what made me stop, was it the work or was it something more noir. Yes, work was one of the reasons, undeniably. 20+ hrs of working on a single day, my friends began referring me as IBM’s bitch. Getting adjusted to the new life was one definite factor. But when i search deep it was something more than that. One that pains me still, tried shrugging it off, but couldn’t, it still lingers in the darkest thoughts. It can be described as one that is scariest for a writer. I was never credited for something that i wrote. Even my closest friends didnt acknowledge the fact that it was me. Bang! i got a “500 Internal Server Error” when i was expecting a “200 OK” with “Connection: Keep-Alive”.

Any way its all behind me, and i at least think that i’m back.

BTW my lingo has now been reduced into the results of an aftermath of heavy AS2/AS3 testing, with heavy dosage of XML and Development team that doesnt consent to bugs.

Taken this opportunity, if u would like anyone who is coming across this post to share, what made them hit writer’s block and how they did eventually overcome it….

It Hurts … when you know a person for so long and yet she compares you, measures you ..

It Hurts … when things that you do goes unnoticed …

It Hurts … when she tells you, that you are not good enough …

It Feels Better — when i say FUCK YOU !!!

Alluwahlia Singh, the malayali, is a born techie. He speaks a dialect of English that only an Itanium-based server can decode. He is destined to be one of the greatest programming minds of his time. At
the age of 15, he got his first computer, and ever since it was his only love. They spent sleepless nights traveling through the endless world of computers and technology.

Some say, when he snores you can actually decode it as a binary code to print Fibonacci series, infinitely. When asked, he would say even before he could ever perfect the program or rather his snore, he had to wake up. Yes, he was that kind of guy.

It was the summer of 2008, May 27th. At work, Alluwahlia was deeply lost in thought. He was about to crack the Public-Key encryption and prove it as faulty. His 7th sense (the 6th sense was used for coding, so his actual 6th sense switched to the next available slot) registered the transient state of divine matter. He was startled by the effect that it left on his senses. He felt something hard in his pants. As he checked what it was, he promptly found his lost keys. His friends were amazed at the transition. Alluwahlia couldn’t believe it. So he began backtracking the logs that he had collected.

---

She was never meant to be a techie. Her delicate fingers were not the best for crunching keys, nor were those hazel eyes meant to look at the monitor. She was caring, affectionate, loving and sweet. Swaroopa was made by the Gods with love. She was everything that a guy could ever ask. And they say she causes half of the traffic jams in Bangalore. Yes she can’t drive if her life depended on it!

Still in the summer of 2008, May 27th. At work, Swaroopa couldn’t take the heat from the CPU anymore. She decided to take a break. If she hadn’t decided to go out at exactly 3:55:36 pm (milisecond precision is unavailable at the time of writing this post) her life would have remained the same. But things were destined to change. On her way out, she spots something — or rather someone — all engrossed in the work. (Un)fortunately, that thing — or rather he — was the most beautiful creature she had ever seen in her life. Men at Work always turned her ‘ON’. In a second, she stopped, glanced at him, and left a sigh wishing he was her’s.

Little did she realize that the butterfly-effect of the ’sigh’ would change the course of her life for ever.

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In his abode, he scrambled through what he had. His 7th sense told him he was close. Yes there it was a message at around the same time he felt the ‘force’. It read, “I wish he was mine!”. The 6th sense went into overdrive and nearly took over his 7th sense as he figured out that it was a ‘Sigh’ and it came from — his heart skipped beats — on a trembling screen he read “S…W…A…R…O…O…P…A…SWAROOPA”. He trusted his computer and his calculation.

Jumping out of his seat, he ran out and hopped on to his blue Bajaj Enticer. Sensing the ‘master’, the bike auto starts and greets him, with a “Hello Allu!” in a female voice. Ignoring it all, he punches
something into his mobile and with the help of a divine navigational service (known to mankind and lesser mortals as Google Maps) he triangulates her position on the Vodafone network.

He was motionless as reality hit him. “What? She lives a kilometer away?”

Referring to his bike he mouths the command. “Bluey — take me to your master’s love”.

And loverboy on aforementioned Bluey sped — actually rocketed — towards NGV from Maharaja even before the cops in Bangalore could go “yenu speedu saar!”

Meanwhile, dreaming of the techno-man she saw at work, Swaroopa was lost in her own world, when she heard the roar of a bike. Looking down from her balcony, she couldn’t believe her eyes. Yes it’s Alluwahlia. She looked at him and gave a ’sign’ that almost crashed his system. But he decoded it with the 16-bit processor from the car that was parked nearby.

The message read, “Darling without you I’m NULL. You complete my C Programs with a semi-colon. I will always return(0) when i’m with you. Never will I ever cause any segmentation faults. My Love, My CPU, please initiate the steps to de-allocate me from his 32-bit space and re-allocate me in your giga-byte heart. assert(”Please”);”

Using the advanced predictive text of his E71 phone, he scripted the perfect Perl script to get her down. That was the beginning of the most wonderful love story in the techie world.

His friends found them drunk in each others love, and also found them drunk in each other drinks, at the Legends of Rock. She was laughing non-stop and he, by her side, talking about his latest hack.

They played Wall.E and Eve in the shambles of Kanakpura Road.

Their fun was short lived. He got a call from the parent process and had to leave in a short time. With a 98% utilization of his memory, he left Swaroopa back and flew. And with memory filled of love — virtual memory inclusive — she waits indefinitely, a blocking call without a timeout, for the return invocation.

return(0);

P. S.: However, as most projects in Bangalore, by the time this blog post was scripted, Swaroopa fell for the writer. Alluwahlia self-discontinued himself and is now an obsolete, end-of-life legacy system with no interfaces or support.

(This post has been co-authored with 2s)

This one is a general intro to blogging. Its the same one that i did at Wipro but with modifications.

I have the Calvin and Hobbes theme for this one.

This is the Blogging for Business slides. Its Dilbert themed

Never ever did i expect that something that i follow as a passion would get me a chance to conduct a session at one of the best business schools in north India.

Last week-end, i flew to Delhi and on Saturday i was at BIMTECH, Greater Noida, for a session on blogging and the monetary benefits of blogging. The E-Cell of BIMTECH had contacted Mutiny for help and i took the offer.

The session was planned at 6p.m.. You really have to appreciate the guys who study at b-schools, a session at 6p.m. was nothing for them. Other colleges too were invited for the workshop and there were indeed people present at that time of the evening on a Saturday evening.

The session kicked off after a brief intro about the speaker, ahhmmmm that’s me :), and about Mutiny and of course about my friend Mayank (yes its the StudioWordpress guy!!! - http://mayankgupta.com or http://mayank.info ). Mayank was supposed to be on time and help me out with the session, but he was caught up with an emergency Snooker game-session. Well he did turn up to save me for the last 30min :).

I started off at the same grounds from where i started the blogging session at Wipro. Telling them everything that i knew about blogging, etiquette, etc etc. But there was a flaw. Most of the people who were there didn’t know how to start a blog. By ’start a blog’ i mean they didn’t know even how to get a blog at blogger. The lesson - get to know the people and the requirements before we start.

So STOP!!! Get back to the basics. Took them through the live demo of setting up a blog in Blogger. So when all was set, and everyone was on the same page, we were back to where we stopped.

Mayank was just in time as i was getting warmed up with the business side of blogging. Talked about some of the ways that i knew about making money out of blogging. Though i have to mention that i’m too lazy for a blogger that i don’t earn as much as others do, out of blogging.

The idea of a community blog was something new to them. The facts on how Mutiny has grown and maintains itself interested them.

After that it was Mayank’s turn to help everyone with the things that he knows. The way he earns his living was interesting to listen to and i’m quite sure that it would have opened up some idea for those who were listening.

The fact that interested me a lot was the volume of idea that people had for blogging. They all wanted to blog for so many reasons and they just wanted to know how.

Put together the session was one that’s one of the most memorable. I’m taking back some very valuable learnings and some ideas with me.

More pics here

Blogging Wordshop at BIMTECH

If any BIMTECH guys are reading this, i would like you to give me you feedbacks and comments too ..

(Cross-posted here)

courtesy hexium.

If normal blogging was too much for you and thought that Twitter solved it with Micro-blogging… AND if you thought that 140 characters was too long to type and Twitter was too much to handle. You are in big problem.

Friends might tell you that you are being lazy and you need to see a doc. Hell NO!! we have Adocu for one-word Nano-blogging. Now all you need is a word or rather words with no spaces in them.

Just one word, one word to tell the world what you are up to..

So far only text and numbers allowed. Spaces are a Strict NO!! You can alwaysbe innovative. Joining words without spaces is already happening there. The interface looks simple and you just can keep on going.

Adocu is still in beta and is lacking a good Puclic time line, friends updates, search etc. So when its finished by Jonathan (adocu.com/Jonathan), who is busy getting feedbacks at the blog (http://blog.adocu.com/) and fixing issues that are reported, its really going to rock.

Adocu is not a Twitter clone, rather its Twitter compressed …

Time to coin new terms like - Adocuers (populace in Adocu), Adocus (updates in Adocu), Adocing (the act of updating Adocu).

Thanks a lot Prateek for the tip. I feel sharing through SlideShare is much better

The day before the session, Christine calls me up and asks me, “So how do you intend to start the session?”. Then it hits me that, all this time i was preparing for each of the workshop, but didn’t even think of how to start of the whole discussion/workshop. Oops now i need to plan. gulp!

Ok, i felt i was going to crash and burn during the session - 1. I had no idea how i’m going to start off 2. The slides looked very very boring. The slides were a disaster, i was planning a workshop and they wanted slides if the whole thing was to be approved by the management. As a last minute step, turned to Calvin and Hobbes for help. Boy! they helped. Now my slides looked wacky and who ever saw it smiled. Let it be. So i spent the rest of yesterday’s evening taking screen shots of Twitter, Kwippy, Muziboo, Tempostand, Mutiny.in, All things Pakistan and individual blogs of 2s, Amit Agarwal, Adeeth’s and Mine. I would have loved to show all the blogs that i read, but the company firewall just blocked’em off.

On the D-Day, I was 30 min well before time and met up with Christine. The first of the participants turned up and didn’t even hope to have even 10 people. With all the work and things around, chances are that something like blogging could take a back seat for people. I was mistaken. There was close to 25 participants.

So here we go, as an intro got all the people who were there and had a blog to have their blog-ids written on the board. Only 8!!! Great!!! So more people wanted to get into blogging and as i learned they were confused at some point or the other with many things.

As we started off, i made the fact clear that it will be a discussion/workshop as opposed to a session. Pushed for some user interaction and it just took off from there, jokes, experiences and facts. A fun filled session where the beginners are now serious on starting a blog. To the question, Should Al Qaida blog? YES was the reply, as they all believed no one should be stopped from blogging.

Interestingly, every one converged on the point that, blogs provide a fact / news in its raw format rather than the media, which they though to be fabricated. We moved on to show the newbies how simple it was to set up a blog. Interestingly most of the people who blogged used Blogspot and haven’t even heard of LiveJournal or TypePad.

The discussions drifted from some serious discussions on What to be done on profanity?, What formed the basis of Moderating a Comment?, The Do’s and Dont’s of Blogging..etc to some fun stuffs that i shared with them. Interestingly people didnt know what RSS feeds are. So got someone to explain the whole RSS funda to them.

What is MicroBlogging and why do we do it?, was a tough one to make them understand. Finally i feel that when i showed them Twitter and the indian counterpart Kwippy. They then got the whole idea of micro-blogging.

Finally i had to tell them about Google Analytics and showed my own Analytics graph as an example of the worst thing that you can do - being lazy. The downward graph showed it all.
I was quite overwhelmed by the participation i had and people said it was wonderful. Felt good.

The presentation that i made can be found here - Blogging Workshop (PPT)

Finally the Bloggers made their presence felt through Blogathon. Some of them were featured in NDTV.

Here is the clip from Youtube.