Category Archives: Attitude

At Your Convenience

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schedule clipart%20450x300 At Your Convenience

I’m quite sure that most of us has been in this situation and that you will concur with what i say here.

Picture this, your’re in conversation with another person. Let’s say a business partner, a colleague or a friend. At the end of the conversation both parties agree that they need to have a follow up conversation of what they were discussing. So, very politely, the other person, offers you the freedom of fixing a follow up meeting.

You’re free to choose the date and time of your convenience. Well that’s what the other person said, right? That being said, the rest of the conversation goes something like this.

“Ok, so how about Thurday 10AM”.

“Hmm.. Well i won’t be able to make it to office by 10. Let’s keep it at 11AM. Then again, if you can’t Thursday 10AM should be fine.”

Arrg! I don’t understand. They wanted us to schedule a meeting at our convenience and now we have to change it according to their convenience?

Am i missing something here? You tell me…

Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity!

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I could feel her heart beat. It was racing up. Her breathing became heavier with each passing moment. She held me tight and squeezed her against me.

Inching closer, i felt her lips against mine. I slipped into sweet seduction.

Ok period! This post is not meant to be of any pornographic value. The intend of this post is to announce my engagement on my blog. icon smile Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity!

Well, apparently after reading the title and then the first two lines, someone might have got a heart attack and as i’m typing this i’m laughing out loud. Yes the repercussions of this post will be quite sour, but i like the 10sec fun at times. No its not my fiance whom i’m fearing (i’ll fear her post engagement), but its her mother. Yes my Mother-in-law icon smile Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity!

Well she apparently goes through my blog and makes it a point that she reads my twitter feeds too. So this was my way of telling her – “This is me Jerry and i’ll be marrying your daughter icon biggrin Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity! !!!”. Oh, i can so visualize her in my mind right now. The phone at my home ringing, my folks coming to know about the post and they reading it and it all adding up to the visits on my site.

The what the heck is the title about? Well i’m losing my bachelorhood and that is almost as equivalent my virginity. Have been carefree, lived by my own terms, raced my bike on roads, went on late night drives, partied all night, slept through the day. No one to ask why? No one to ask where? But now its all changing. Isn’t that an important phase. I bet!. I will be stepping into responsibilities (yikes!!!) and relations(yawn!!) and have to keep’em all my life. But to tell ya, its a good feeling. Trust me, you should give it a try. But dont blame me if u crash and burn.

Now the details. kindly read the F.A.Qs and if that doesnt answer the questions post your query in the comments and i will reply to it.

Kindly note that questions like “Did you tell her about the night that you sneaked into your ex-girlfriends bedroom and kissed her for the first time?” will be promptly deleted and wont see the light ever again. Though the answer to that will be “No!” icon smile Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity! . What! You want me to get myself killed or what? Stan icon biggrin Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity! , i guess you get the point!!!

Frequently Asked Questions.

Q. Whats her name and location?
A. Bhavna. Hails from Cochin.

Q. What does she do?
A. Working at a s/w company in Chennai.

Q. So does that mean that she is a techie like you and is into blogging?
A. No! and i’m fine with it. Well one of a kind is all thats needed in a family. Have doubts ask my mother-in-law.

Q. Does that mean that you will be shifting to Chennai after wedding?
A. No. She will join me here in Bangalore.

Q. What are you getting as dowry?
A. Nothing! Dowry is illegal. In fact i’m losing stuffs. How about my bachelorhood to start with.

Q. When is the engagement?
A. November 15th, 2009. The Wyte Fort Cochin. Some time after 11AM.(Google Maps Link)

Q. When is the wedding?
A. One at a time plz. Let me get over the engagement first icon smile Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity!

Q. What should i do if i want to attend the function?
A. Call me or drop me an e-mail and we shall make some arrangements.

icon smile Oh Mama, I lost my Virginity! You have thus been invited… (if my in-laws doesnt kill me before the function)

Why I Support The Attack On Women

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Off late there has been a lot of reports, both via the main stream media as well as blogs, about the increasing number of attacks on women. So i decided to do an RCA (Root Cause Analysis) of the situation myself. Basically i wanted to find answer to these questions -

  1. Why do such attacks happen?
  2. Who are these attackers? Are they teenagers or people well in their late 30s?
  3. Whom did they target? What was so special about the people who were attacked?
  4. What they did, is it wrong? … etc.

Problem Statement:

As far what i read in the news papers and what i heard from others discussing, these attacks were orchestrated by people who say they are supporting the ‘Indian Culture‘. They call them selves as the conservators of Indian Culture. The good Samaritans who resorted to a quick resolution of the problem, attacked the women to save the Indian Culture form getting westernized, the same evil forces from which the Mahatma delivered us (they might argue so)

Hence we have our Problem Statement as : The Attack was to preserve/conserve the Indian Culture.

Analysis:

Now that we have defined the problem statment, lets looks at the analysis. Lets define what happened, what were the public reactions like.

The people who attacked women in Mangalore, Bangalore, Mysore (???), some-other-’ore’ etc. ( lets refer them for the time being as SenaPpl), just couldn’t digest the fact that the bharatiya naari (Indian Woman) dressed in jeans and T-s. Plus the fact that they were dining at a lounge, crossing-the road, waiting for a bus or even minding-their-on-business when they where attacked.

The people who were attacked (we will refer them as Victims), were teenagers and techies. The Victims all had one thing in common, they were wearing western clothes – jeans, t-s, skirts etc. If you might notice the attacks were not on women who were wearing saree/salwar/any authentic Indian dress. The SenaPpl were all men. There were no incidends of women attacking men or women attacking women. It was the XY chromosomes attacking the XX Chromosomes.

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Wedding Bells!!! Uhh What? Where’s my BFG?

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(Still wondering what a BFG is? read on…)

I was there, standing at a railway crossing. I can walk across the rails and go ahead on the road, on my way, where ever it can take me. But, No! I park my bike and start walking on the railway line. Minutes and hours pass by. I come across green meadows, houses, hills; it was a timeless journey. No thirst, no hunger, no pain, nothing. It was me, the railway line and the view. I don’t know how far i was walking. The sun was there shining high up in the sky. He never moved. I was lost in my thoughts.

It has been quite sometime that I’ve started hearing some strange sounds. It sounded like the ringing bell of an old steam-locomotive. Ting…. Ting…. Ting….

I was high on my spirits. After a long walk, i have a train to go forward. This was like the ultimate dream. Or am i dreaming? I stop to turn around. What the…. my legs are glued to the ground. I cant move!!!. I was struggling like hell to free myself. Behind me i could see the dust and smoke rising up in the horizon. What ever it may be, the dream was just about to turn ugly. My heart’s beating a 1000 beats per minute.

I look behind. I see a shining far behind. Its small, its fast and its coming my way. I’m struggling like hell. I hear the bell ringing even closer. I turn behind… What the #$#%^&^(*(&)(*_)… a pandit with neatly shaved head, big pony tail flying behind him, ringing his bell with one hand and a ‘portable’-fireplace (might be some new 21st century invention).. running towards me. What on heaven’s sake is that?

“Son”, holy crap!!! its my dad, standing to my right.

“What… How… Why…”

“Son”, jeeezzzz, its my mom, standing to my left.

“What… What are you guys doing here?”

“Tie the knot my son!!!”, they both say that with absolute precision that can even leave the most meticulously synchronized systems to shame.

“Tie what?”, i look in front of me and i almost faint. I’m holding a ‘mangalsuthru’ and there is this girl standing in front of me. I don’t know jack shit about her. Is this a right time to at least ask her name?. What am i doing …

Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting …….

I was still sweating and breathing heavily as i jumped out of my bed. Checked around me and all round my flat just to make sure that i didn’t really wake up after my first-night… or worse 20 years after my marriage. So why do i get the feeling that this is what is going to happen to me????

Parental-pressure is high! By parental-pressure i mean damn crazy pressure that can cause you to go sleepless for days at end. If i thought that could only be the only one which can cause unrest in my serene life, i was wrong. There was… No… there IS a far more greater pressure that will eventually get happy bachelors to get married. Its scientifically called Peer-Pressure a.k.a Friends.

Celibacy is not my way of life. But Yes, face it! Its your FRIENDS who will eventually get you married. They will all be there. They are the greatest treasure that u can have. Even long after you are gone, you will live within your friends. ‘Gone’ as in not like you are dead. ‘Gone’ as in, you go on-site and they will still talk about you as, ‘Kaminaa Saala!!! On-site se kuch nahi leke aayega. Fakeeerrrr…’. You live now, not after you’re dead.

They are there. But have you ever though about what happens when they all eventually face the running-pandit, gets run over by him, never gets a chance to wake up and lives the ‘dream’. Oops you’re in trouble.

They all get married and start their family. They no longer enjoy the jokes that you shared. Even worse they even reach a point where they tell you, “Dude don’t talk about all that, she doesn’t like all that”. Worse still, his wife hates you and more worse, her husband starts having feelings for you.

Oops! your friend will change. They all change eventually and you are left alone. You just cant go and make more friends because, the ‘make-great-friends’ list gets shorter with age. Soon you will find yourself without the great friends that you used to hand out with, no new friends and you are being treated like an adult where ever you go. And i believe the later stage is definitely not where i want to find myself at.

So now there is even more pressure on you to get married…

Whats that… Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting… Where is that BFG (Big Fucking Gun), i’m gonna kill that pandit…

WTF… its full platoon of relatives and friends marching towards me. Dad and Mom holding a garland each, friends with kids and its then i realize that the pandit was just a side-kick.

I just stand there like a scapegoat as they dance around me… Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting…

The Bad Day That I Loved…

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The recipe for a perfect bad day was in place. I slept through the morning alarm, woke up at 11AM and missed the meeting at 10. To top things up, i woke up with a bad headache. Hangover from last night! 2 large vodkas with coke with 2 cubes of ice, that’s all that i had. Plus the fact that i went out on a weekday for a drive with the gang. I wasn’t home till 3 in the morning.

Well, i sat there on the bed contemplating what to do now? Obviously i had to get dressed asap and reach office. In the mean time i had to think of some real good reason to tell my manager why i was late. Cant tell him that i was working late, because the release was done and there was not much of work left. Ok, the most used and reused reason always works, ‘I wasn’t feeling well, i was having a bad headache!’. Thinking that will bail me out i had a quick shower, dressed and reached office.

As if i had a clue, work piled on me when i got my senses back. I thought about the book, “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Dr. Spencer Johnson, now i should be Haw. How can i be Haw? Screw it, let me get through the day first. Just want to get back home. Some how i managed to push myself through what was left of the day. Remember, i reached office at 12PM. Finally after managing to stage some ‘i’m feeling sick’ drama i was out of office by 5PM. Please don’t ask me how, but i managed it.

Whats next? Took my bike and was out of Embassy Golf Links, on to Intermediate Ring Road and i was headed towards K-Town. Hmmm.. none of my friends are going to be free till 7PM. Not even my jobless sweetheart, my pseudo-wife in the group, who only has time to cut her hair. Someone should tell her that at this rate she would go hairless in a month or less. The fact is that, that someone should be Mr. India, not because he can charm her into not doing it, because she is the bully of the group and we all are, to be frank, scared to tell her this. That even applies to her ‘real’ boyfriend too.

This did bring a smile on my face, which quickly faded into something like – Ooops i’m screwed again – when i realized that i jumped the signal at Sony World. Throttled to the max and even before the cowboys of Bangalore Traffic Police could jump in front of my bike, i had crossed e-zone. Hmmm where do i go next. Let me go to Forum. I’ll go to Landmark and roam around till everyone is free and its time when the ‘gang’ can meet up.

I was feeling much better compared to how i had started the day. It was returning to normalcy. 30 min in Landmark and i was bored to my karmic senses. Oh crap, let me have a coffee now. I went all the way to CCD and ordered for a Mocha with an extra espresso shot. That ought to cheer me up a bit. Waiting … waiting … waiting … looking at the chicken-tikka sandwich, thinking over what had happened till now, i lost track of my environment and was cursing me in my head when,

“What a bad a day!!!”

“Tell me about it…”, i replied.

Oops. Did i just say that out loud. With ninja-reflexes and blood rushing to my head and beads of sweat forming on my forehead, i looked to the side, to find those beautiful hazel-eyes looking quizzically at me. The ninja ran for cover, more blood rushed to my head and i was sweating so badly that i could have used a shower at that point.

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