Category Archives: Religion

Things i noticed in 3 days in God’s Own Country (Kerala)

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kerala alleppey2 Things i noticed in 3 days in Gods Own Country (Kerala)There is no point in me saying – ‘most part of my life i have been a mallu’. It doesnt really make any sense. I’m a mallu and i’m damn proud of it. But over the last 4 years i have stayed more in the garden city (Bangalore, you jack-ass!!!), than at my home town Kayamkulam (we proudly say that we are from the place of Kerala’s most famed highwayman Kayamkulam Kochunni). So now i’m not a Kannadiga (yet), but has been away from home for quite long enough to notice the subtle things about my place, that i wouldnt have noticed otherwise.

1. The Beef Curry – If you are in Kerala, just drop into any of the road side hotels (as with all places, just look at the cleanliness part a bit before you settle down), order yourslef a plat of beef-curry or beef-fry with porota. Its one of the best combination of food and if have made the choice of place correct then 4 porota and a plate of hot beef-curry wont cost you more than 50bucks

2. Guys on bike – Ok here i’m talking about guys between 20-25 years. These jackasses dont know how to ride a bike and if i was here i would have ended up just like them. They start the bike, both feet are off the ground and its 10secs of front-wheel wobbling before they pick up speed and then later their balance. If anything fails in between then back to square one. They have been the biggest headache for me while driving.

3. KSRTC SuperFast Buses – The only thing red in the place other than the menacing CPM politicos are the state run public transport buses – The KSRTC. Starting their fleet from Ordinary, Ordinary Fast, Venad (white and blue), Limited Stop, Fast Passenger, Limited Stop Fast Passenger, Super Fast, Super Express (green in color) and the luxury Volvo (white). The best in line i say are the Super Fast buses. People prefer them for journey that lasts up to 6hrs because the buses make their own rules and the drivers, at any given point, are trying to do an F1 qualifier.

4. Auto Drivers in Trivandrum and Alappey – The best auto drivers are from Kozhikodu. That i dont know. But from what i know the best auto drivers are from Trivandrum and Alappey, they might ask for more, but ask them to go via meter, most of them will kindly oblige.

5. The choice of news – We prefer the local news of murder/rape/smuggling/hawala/suicide/accident/bribery/raid more than what goes on with the nation. I said we ‘prefer’, just that other news takes a backseat. We still have time to discuss about other things after we are done with the daily news analysis. After the Paul-Murder that filled the news, Sex-racket in Cochin is gaining momentum. And if not that then we will find something else.

6. Public Holidays, Celebrations and Hartal – Someone banned ‘bandh’ couple of years back and ever since its ‘hartal’ for everything. Last year my mom told me that there were 52 un-official holidays, thanks to the hartals. Hartals are treated a bit differently. The whole family is together, some good movie will be aired on tv, so it basically ends up having a semi-festive feeling about it. Hinduism, Christianity and Islam 3 major religions and hence we have 3 major festive seasons – Onam, Christam and Ramzan. Hinduism is not strict like its outside the state. The fact that has been proved with almost everyone having Beef (the meat of cow tastes better than the ox icon wink Things i noticed in 3 days in Gods Own Country (Kerala) )

and i love it in here …

Why I Support The Attack On Women

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Off late there has been a lot of reports, both via the main stream media as well as blogs, about the increasing number of attacks on women. So i decided to do an RCA (Root Cause Analysis) of the situation myself. Basically i wanted to find answer to these questions -

  1. Why do such attacks happen?
  2. Who are these attackers? Are they teenagers or people well in their late 30s?
  3. Whom did they target? What was so special about the people who were attacked?
  4. What they did, is it wrong? … etc.

Problem Statement:

As far what i read in the news papers and what i heard from others discussing, these attacks were orchestrated by people who say they are supporting the ‘Indian Culture‘. They call them selves as the conservators of Indian Culture. The good Samaritans who resorted to a quick resolution of the problem, attacked the women to save the Indian Culture form getting westernized, the same evil forces from which the Mahatma delivered us (they might argue so)

Hence we have our Problem Statement as : The Attack was to preserve/conserve the Indian Culture.

Analysis:

Now that we have defined the problem statment, lets looks at the analysis. Lets define what happened, what were the public reactions like.

The people who attacked women in Mangalore, Bangalore, Mysore (???), some-other-’ore’ etc. ( lets refer them for the time being as SenaPpl), just couldn’t digest the fact that the bharatiya naari (Indian Woman) dressed in jeans and T-s. Plus the fact that they were dining at a lounge, crossing-the road, waiting for a bus or even minding-their-on-business when they where attacked.

The people who were attacked (we will refer them as Victims), were teenagers and techies. The Victims all had one thing in common, they were wearing western clothes – jeans, t-s, skirts etc. If you might notice the attacks were not on women who were wearing saree/salwar/any authentic Indian dress. The SenaPpl were all men. There were no incidends of women attacking men or women attacking women. It was the XY chromosomes attacking the XX Chromosomes.

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Single, Sex and Marriage

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Of late, especially after i booked my flat, my folks are after me, pressurizing every bit inside me to get married. Well, thought you should know, i’ve been a bachelor and i had my share of heart breaks and breakings. After the last one, i just decided to settle with the drunk chicks at the pubs or rather get’em drunk. But how the hell am i supposed to know that my folks were having such plans for me. Trust me, its tough to be a single, good looking, smart dark bachelor down south (i love vanity). The nosy neighbors and relatives makes sure that the juice is sucked out of you. Damn you Suckers!!!

The hard part is, you don’t get to choose or say a word beyond telling yes/no to the girls that they parade in front of you. I consider myself lucky, some guys i *knew* never even had that.

Son! THIS IS YOUR BRIDE! Marry HER!

Yes dad!!!

I mean whats the whole pressure thing about? I’ve been a really well spoiled bachelor so far, waking up and sleeping with the timings of people half-way round the world, eating anything that i could lay my hands on – stale breads, half-cooked spicy chicken curry that cleans your food-track once a month, Domino’s pizzas that run for 2 days etc. etc.. Now i’m being even more responsible by booking a flat (i need to mention that it was again pressure from folks). Now that i have a place for myself, the next thing that i need to concentrate is my career, blogging, make some money etc etc. I’m not ready to be tied down.

What are the odds, that the girl they pick for you is not gonna make your life miserable? Dad’s got a comeback for that too, “At least both the families are there to help you out with that”. Then why cant i just find someone with whom i’m comfortable with? Facts to be laid straight, yes they did take care of you for a long time, but do they have to pick up your partner too.

Am i ready to take the responsibility? Hell no! May be i would like to get married, after i know that person a bit more. If not, then jumping into marriage is no different than having sex, with her and your parent’s consent!

As a closing note, the last conversation with my dad ended with him telling me this -

“As a bachelor, you live like a King and die like a Dog, Once married, you live like a Dog and die like a King”

No idea who put that in his head, but i sure did got it out. Even my mom was left gaping after that dialogue.

The Political Misdirections

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manmohan singh The Political MisdirectionsYa ya ya, The UPA government won the trust vote. Now everybody is happy, lets say the UPA and its allies are at least happy that the nuclear deal will happen without any glitch.

So whats keeping the Left in the news, well they have dutifully expelled Somnath Chattergee, as of now!!!

And the BJP, the poor saffron brigade had MPs that switched sided, took money etc etc and are finding themselves in their pool of shit.

As for the wanna-be PM or rather the future PM, Rahul Gandhi, his speech at the parliament was meant to be patriotic. Its amazing when somebody out of the blue has a burst of patriotism. The wanna-be PM Lalooji (i will only call him lalooji as he is the only devil around with an angel’s halo – look at the railways), he sure did crack some dialogues and made his point on the Lok Sabha floor. At least he had the balls to say that he wants to be the PM, may be not now but later (great!!!). I would rather see the nation run by him than by Mayawathi.

Copy of INDIA POLITICS NUCL The Political MisdirectionsSo you thought that everything is going to settle and die down after the trust vote? That we will have our so called ‘nuclear-deal’, of which half of the debating politicos have no idea what its about, going through and life will go on as normal. I cant believe that somebody as dumb witted as the Muslim League (or one of their clones) comes up the brightest allegation – Nuclear Deal is anti-Muslim!!!.

Well Nuclear-deal is done or rather will be. Now what will i do for my entertainment. At home the trust vote sparked so much of interest that after we lost our borrowed tuner-card back to whom it belonged to, my room mates went on a buying spree. They bought a new internal tuner-card and DAMN!! the thing never worked. They had to cuddle themselves in front of the streaming video that they could salvage out of the Wimax connection. Next day i reach home to find an external tuner-card. Great!!!Perfect!!!

When all my hope was lost – Ram Sethu pops up. Ok! i’m sorry, i thought we done with that controversy a long time ago. Naaahhh, the government needs something to remain in news. The latest news says that Ram nuked the Sethu after he was done with Lanka. So what? Preserve it!!! Preserve something that is speculated to be God’s creation and let the freight ships make a Lanka journey. Let the price of goods carried by the ships to the Bengal coast be more, let the people suffer.

12inter The Political MisdirectionsBut hey wait a sec!!! why is it that we have controversy and allegation and political drama filling up the air-waves. Guys, just rewind a new weeks back. What was it that hit the news then? INFLATION!!! and we were damn sure that the Government couldn’t do much about it, than sit and watch. The price of a barrel of crude oil just went beyond Mars and there was no stopping the inflation arrow. But what happened???

Aren’t we still in that same phase. Aren’t we still facing the Inflation terror???

Ohh wait!!! the govt has diverted all public attention to Nuclear-deal.. Ohh that’s done.. its Ram Sethu now!!!!

Enjoy the Price Hike!!!!