Sanity Insanity and Moi

I haven’t been much of a sports person all my life. But i was fit enough to play a match of cricket or a game of basketball. Of late the techie job that i have and my kind of lifestyle started to take a toll on my health. Following my employer’s motto, i ‘THINK’ and i IDEATE but i also took on the activity of IDLE-ating.

How bad did i get? Remember the movie Ice Age and the character Sid. He makes a portrait of himself on the rock and Diego draws a circle around his belly. Ya i started to look like that. Though more in a human form.

2 days back, a head rush or rather a knee jerk decision found me going up to the watchman and asking him the keys to the Gym, at my apartment.

Got into my room, changed and headed to the gym on the terrace. Most of the people are too lazy and more over since it was 7:30 in the evening, i didn’t expect any one to be there at the gym. As i neared i could make out that someone was using the thread-mill.

But Who?

OMG! A girl. And not bad .. she’s hot!!! Now its more of a challenge to me. My right-side of the brain telling my left-leg to step forward and enter the gym. At the same time my left-side of the brain ordering the right-leg to turn back. In that split second i almost did a 180 deg split, like Bruce Lee.

Snap! and i’m in the gym. I’m all too serious now. Kept the keys and the mobile by the window. Looked at her and said a ‘Hi’ and introduced myself. Hmmm.. she is smart. Doing her 2nd year BSc Computer Science at Christ College. And she answers to “Manisha”.

“C’mon tiger! You can do it. Be cool. Do what you are here for. Ask her for a date! No No .. Do the damn exercise. If not, you will eventually look like Sid. Then even if you are migrating to avoid the Ice Age you wont even be half as lucky as Sid. Your story will end at the hands of the Rhinos.”

Ok, straight away, for the dumbbells. Hmm 10Kg, lifted it.. naah too heavy. Ahhh, 5Kg, i picked one in each hand. In any given situation people will lift the dumbbell one at time, bottom-up, pumping their biceps. I didn’t.

May be because i was praying to God not to mess up and may be that Jesus decided to play a prank with me, i did the worst thing ever. I lifted them shoulder height with my arms stretched out to the sides. Yes, Jesus got me crucified in a dumbbell situation. And the 30 year old crucified virgin started having fun with me. I began bringing them both forward and then back all in an arm stretched situation. I began clapping with 5Kg dumbbells. I only clapped twice, had to keep them back as i realized it would be a nice time to put’em back.

After that i did ask her some thing and we did talk for like 10 sec. But i was too fucked with what i did, i just cant remember.

Well by that time she was done with the thread-mill. I thought, ok now its time to show her what i can do on a thread mill. I will just run till she leaves.My eyes just popped out when i saw that she was running for 30min flat. So, lets just walk on the thread-mill.

Noooo! she just got the mat and is about to do something lying on the floor. What do i ask her? What do i ask her? Wait my mobile is still near the window. I will ask her to get hat for me and i can thanks her for that…

“Excuse me! Can you please get me my mobile… Its there near the window”

“Sure”, she promptly gets me my mobile… Mobile you lucky bastard.

I take the mobile from her, still walking very proudly on the thread-mill, keeps it in the holder, which was looking more like a bottle holder and then revert

“Sorry, Thank You, I’m “.

She just smiles and walks away.

What ever i did never got me sweating, but that dialog just sure did get me all sweating. From that moment onwards i just walked and never looked at her!!!

P.S. : I’m thankful that she doesnt have the Tuss-Effect !!!

If this is the kind of english that DNA is going to report news on, then i’d better never read their paper.

“If Sepang can host a F1 race, why can’t Bangalore?”

You gotta abe kidding me

A friend of mine once said, when you are watching the movie ‘Partner’, leave your logic at home and the movie is entertaining. So it follows that, at times when my friends invite me to watch a Hindi movie, i just pack-off my logic to a holiday at the Bahamas. It applies to all mindless comedies that have come out in the name of entertainment. Some makes it through, but some just fail.

Of late Akshay has had a string of comedy movies under his belt and most of them were with the gorgeous Katrina Kaif. Singh is Kinng is no different, but there is something fresh about the comedy and it really makes sense.

Lets just say that the movie does justice to itself. Its a very simple story of Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar), who would just do anything to help you out.Happy is there to help you if you need it or not. But there is a problem, he has got a negative ‘Midas touche’. He leaves a trail of destruction when he sets out to help someone. Its his golden heart that wins him other’s hearts. Rangeela (Om Puri) and the rest of the villagers like Happy, but Happy’s helping hand is now everyone’s headache.

Then there is Lucky Singh(Sonu Sood) a.k.a King, who is a Don in Australia. King has had many close calls on his life. One fine day when King’s dad fall sick, Rangeela makes a plan to get rid of Happy by sending him to Australia to get King, but finds himself having to join Happy. With some sudden turn of events Happy and Rangeela find themselves in Egypt, where he meets Sonia (Katrina Kaif).

What follows is some nicely scripted comedy and the events that make Happy to be the new King! Nothing more to add to the spoilers, so guys enjoy Happy’s journey to Australia. It will sure tickle you to the bones.

Things to watch out for (or rather not to watch) :

Uff!!!! Katrina, she is gorgeous, she is damn sexy, but she is there just to fit in the role of a heroine. Neha Dupia still gets a fair amount of scenes and dialogues. Katrina’s dialogue is still half-Hindi and half-British and never runs more than half-a-page, even if every line was put together. Even after so many movies, her expressions remind me of the Hollywood actor Steven Segal. With Steven Segal you cant make out what his expression is - he kills, shoots, kisses, cries - all with the same constipated look. With Katrina, oh god, its always the Vogue-cover-model look. Damn it even when she is crying, its the same!

The fun part of the movie is, most of the actors who has been the regular villains and the serious characters, playing a comical role. Ranvir Shorey still pays the unfortunate lover. The song with Snoop Dogg would have been better if the Hindi rap part was done by, say Hard Kaur or Bombay Rockers or somebody else.

Highlights of the Movie :

• Katrina’s gorgeous looks (again and again and again)
• The opening scene of Akshay
• Neha Dupia - all sizzling
• The Hindi version of ‘corn-flakes’ - LOL
• The scene where all of them get to discuss on Happy and Sonia - ROTFLOL
  
• Javed Jaffery

Pritam has come up with some real good songs that have been packed really well, just like the icing on top of the cake. The title track has already made a mark.

ENOUGH! - i wont misguide you any more or get you misguided by the high minded critics in town who fail to appreciate simple things in life and movies, who look for reasons under the earth and beyond the sky to say bad things about any and every movie ever made unless they are paid well enough to say otherwise OR unless they are member of the ‘Bollywood’s Mutual Admiration Society’ or ‘Star Power Sucker’s Club’, and before you fall victim of the vicious process of letting someone else decide what film you should and shouldn’t watch…let me tell you, - Watch the movie without fail! Full Paisa Vasool!

Singh is Kinng!!!

(Cross-posted here)

This one is a general intro to blogging. Its the same one that i did at Wipro but with modifications.

I have the Calvin and Hobbes theme for this one.

This is the Blogging for Business slides. Its Dilbert themed

Never ever did i expect that something that i follow as a passion would get me a chance to conduct a session at one of the best business schools in north India.

Last week-end, i flew to Delhi and on Saturday i was at BIMTECH, Greater Noida, for a session on blogging and the monetary benefits of blogging. The E-Cell of BIMTECH had contacted Mutiny for help and i took the offer.

The session was planned at 6p.m.. You really have to appreciate the guys who study at b-schools, a session at 6p.m. was nothing for them. Other colleges too were invited for the workshop and there were indeed people present at that time of the evening on a Saturday evening.

The session kicked off after a brief intro about the speaker, ahhmmmm that’s me :), and about Mutiny and of course about my friend Mayank (yes its the StudioWordpress guy!!! - http://mayankgupta.com or http://mayank.info ). Mayank was supposed to be on time and help me out with the session, but he was caught up with an emergency Snooker game-session. Well he did turn up to save me for the last 30min :).

I started off at the same grounds from where i started the blogging session at Wipro. Telling them everything that i knew about blogging, etiquette, etc etc. But there was a flaw. Most of the people who were there didn’t know how to start a blog. By ’start a blog’ i mean they didn’t know even how to get a blog at blogger. The lesson - get to know the people and the requirements before we start.

So STOP!!! Get back to the basics. Took them through the live demo of setting up a blog in Blogger. So when all was set, and everyone was on the same page, we were back to where we stopped.

Mayank was just in time as i was getting warmed up with the business side of blogging. Talked about some of the ways that i knew about making money out of blogging. Though i have to mention that i’m too lazy for a blogger that i don’t earn as much as others do, out of blogging.

The idea of a community blog was something new to them. The facts on how Mutiny has grown and maintains itself interested them.

After that it was Mayank’s turn to help everyone with the things that he knows. The way he earns his living was interesting to listen to and i’m quite sure that it would have opened up some idea for those who were listening.

The fact that interested me a lot was the volume of idea that people had for blogging. They all wanted to blog for so many reasons and they just wanted to know how.

Put together the session was one that’s one of the most memorable. I’m taking back some very valuable learnings and some ideas with me.

More pics here

Blogging Wordshop at BIMTECH

If any BIMTECH guys are reading this, i would like you to give me you feedbacks and comments too ..

(Cross-posted here)

I will try not to be too much biased against Windows. But will like to point out what is wrong.

Hearing the news of the Demo/Preview/Debut of Windows 7 at D6 conference by Microsoft VP Julie Larson-Green, my first reaction was, Oh NO not again!!!

I had my concerns. Microsoft has been stealing the show with its sleeky looks and publicity. If there is somebody at the market that can sell a rickety old-bus just by repainting it, its Microsoft.

Though all the other OS-es has evolved with age, windows simply refuses to budge more or less. The system requirements just to run a basic version of their latest OS takes more than twice the power that is required to run the latest Open Source OS. The fact remains that will less overhead the Open Source counterpart gives the looks and the WOW-ness.

How far can they drive along by just adding the new features without correcting the basic problems.

XP came and by the time people got adjusted to the response time, reaction time and usability, Vista was born. Now why the hell do i have to go for double the configuration for a new OS. Then again i will be doing the same things but that is going to add another transition phase in my life. From my own personal experience, the very simple task of setting an IP which took 4-5 clicks in XP, took me 5-10min in Vista just to figure out how to get the Properties window. Though basic functionality of an OS that the user looks for needs to be kept the same across versions, Microsoft fails to comply.

If the new version is going to be more user friendly than its previous one, why do you still need to pack the age old Win-98 looks with XP? They need to realize what the other OS-es in the market are doing different to keep things abreast with feature improvements, usability and performance.

At this point they just need to stop stuffing in features into an OS. It more or less looks like a huge american burger. A bite at one end will have half of the things falling out of the other end. By the time you get used to the new tasty burger in comes a new version double the size.

Finally the Bloggers made their presence felt through Blogathon. Some of them were featured in NDTV.

Here is the clip from Youtube.

The first ever proper concert in banaglore after being here for 2 years.

Yes Friday i went for the Strings concert at Palace Grounds Banaglore, with Sandy, Sanju, Snigdha and Vinayak. Technically it was the Saif-Parikarma, Strings concert. But i was there just for Strings. I love their music. They make songs that i just can listen to at anytime. Simply fascinating.

They sang - Duur, Naajanay Kyoun (Spiderman 2 OST), Zinda Hoon [Zinda OST], Anjane …

I didnt really enjoy the Saif-Parikarma part of the concert. Heavy metal is for babies. Who want to shout out loud that they are grown. The other music is the real one. Good Soothing and enevrvating.

Strings just stole the show. and i had the best place for the concert. Right next to the stage. Saw Bilal and Faisal up close.

The concert was packed with surprises. During the Saif-Parikarma concert Robin Uttappa and Sreesanth comes on stage. Well that was some thing that none expected. In fact that was the only thing that was good about the Saif part of the concert. Other than that it was loud drums, screams and bull shit. At times i was wondering what exactly Saif was doing on stage.

There is another part of the concert that i need to say, its all about i asking a girl out for the concert and where in she nearly killed me with a stare .. await that soon … That will be an exclusive …

Wired.com has this article : The Untold Story: How the iPhone Blew Up the Wireless Industry.
Truly its the Untold Story on how iPhone took over the mobile industry and made the fellow competitors run for their money.

The demo was not going well.
Again.

It was a late morning in the fall of 2006. Almost a year earlier, Steve Jobs had tasked about 200 of Apple’s top engineers with creating the iPhone. Yet here, in Apple’s boardroom, it was clear that the prototype was still a disaster. It wasn’t just buggy, it flat-out didn’t work. The phone dropped calls constantly, the battery stopped charging before it was full, data and applications routinely became corrupted and unusable. The list of problems seemed endless. At the end of the demo, Jobs fixed the dozen or so people in the room with a level stare and said, “We don’t have a product yet.”

Read on …

2007, India turned 60 and yet She has the vigor and sensuality of a 16 year old. She still has the tenacity and the power to indulge herself in anything. Indians have grown at a tremendous pace in the last 5 years.

2007 bids good bye with the threat of another election looming at large. The Nuclear deal with US is proving to be a bit costly for the Indian National Congress lead UPA Govt. With Gujarat and Himachal polls suggesting that Congress rule at the center is loosing steam, they cant afford to go on an early election. BJP did it and they lost. The question of aam aadmi, is likely to prove costly for INC. There are enough over-the-teacup discussions on politics, lets move on..

In the name of GOD, still proves to be a hindrance in development process, with politicos going to the extend of deliberately forgetting the fact about a Secular state. Wounds of past events are kept fresh. The sad part is that, even the highly educated people fall for such roadblocks. Education is still not able to curb the differences. Yes the literacy rate is up for the Nation from approx 52% in 1991 to 65% in the 2001 census. But yet we heard about infanticide in some of our modern cities.

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