Sanity Insanity and Moi

Its a beautiful Monday morning … YAWN!!!!!!!!

I dont want to talk about Monday mornings. Like all other Monday mornings, today i was late to get up, slept through the ‘wake-up’ time.

Today i found something that was my time-pass to the way to office in the morning. With all the damned jams and slow moving traffic, these were real amusing…

• An auto that had no inch left to be decorated with multi-colored stickers, looked like a Pharaoh’s 21st century ride
• Every damn guys is late and its jammed
• The chick behind the bike always looks cute on a Monday morning and her beauty-quotient drops as we move to Friday
• This applies to all the days - 80% of chicks riding a 2-wheeler wear a jacket with either/both the shades of Blue / Red. Its like their universal code.
• On any given working day, the average body area of a lady covered with clothes, scarfs, helmet etc. etc. beats that of a lady from Taliban lead Afghanistan.
• The BMTC bus jams the road at exactly the same spot every Monday

and i’m always half crazy on Mondays…

(This post was done on August 19, 2008 at 1:35 am, which is a Tuesday…)

courtesy hexium.

Take my advice.

If u don’t have a Reliance connection phone/datacard or anything similar don’t take it.

And if by chance and you had to take it. Don’t think of Canceling it!!!

Why? Hear my story :

It was during Barcamp Banaglore 5, that i had discontinued the Tata Indicom Broadband connection as their service was shity. YES damn SHIT!!!.

My thoughts went like this - i have a laptop so why don’t i go for mobility. Let me take the the Reliance NetConnect connection. The data card looks good and works out of USB plus their tariff plan is also good.Finally at an unfortunate moment i took that connection.

Is there a word in the dictionary that describes worse than ’shity’? Even ‘ultra-f***king-shit-able’ doesn’t properly suffice. It disconnects if i try to check Gmail and connect to GTalk at the same time.

So i decided, after 2 months, enough is enough - cancel the connection. Filled all the forms, submitted the application, paid the outstanding amount and answered two rounds of dumb feedback calls.

Q : Sir, why did you cancel the connection?

A : The Service is BAD.

Q : Why sir?

A : Its Shitty!!! (how the hell am i supposed to know why its BAD. You should be knowing it)

When i thought all was done, in comes a bill at my door step, the next month. Dialed the customer care, told them the scenario. Thought it could be a genuine mistake. WRONG!!! In comes another bill the next month and the next and this month too.

After that a wave of calls in  Hindi, Kannada and English asking me to pay the bill. Still the woes continue and the bill amount keeps on adding every month

Nothing helps. Complaints at customer care doesn’t help, blasting them for calling me doesn’t help, pleading doesn’t help….

PLEASE DON’T EVER TAKE A RELIANCE CONNECTION…

Yes!! Mr. Anil you’re having a very sustainable and rewarding relation with ME.

I have nothing against cricket as a sport. But the way it is over commercialized is what i hate. And for that reasons IPL or the Indian Premier League.

Cricket is getting an unwanted publicity in India and this is not the way it is. But sadly it is. Having cricket matches are fine, but letting them spend billions just for a game, is that ever justified? But why billions, that too in a country when an average man is struggling to make his ends meet.

Ads, campaigns, publicity stunts. Do we need all these? Does the real spirit of the game still exist under such monstrosity? They play the game. Get paid handsomely and goes home. What happens to the poor common man who came to watch the matches and the others alike? The game is generating the wrong kind of passion among fans and followers. The sooner we realize this we can save the game and the future of the other games as well.

Already people have started to experience the headaches of IPL. Right now as i type, people are complaining that there is a huge traffic at MG Road, Bangalore, close to the stadium where the match is underway. IPL site is down too(good). The only good thing about the whole IPL match is that, my manager has left early for the day and now i can sit and blog for the rest of the evening. The whole office looks very much deserted.

Will IPL ever pay for the loss in business and damages. The people who ‘owns’ the team has already confirmed that they are in loss. Huge loss in money, time, business and rest of the balance sheet will follow soon.

Why couldnt they just support the ICL? Not to mention the ICL finals was as gripping as the T20 Finals.

The comedy never ends …

This was the set of books that i found at my friend’s place…

1. Kamasutra

2. Bhagawat Gita

3. The Da Vinci Code

4. Word Power made easy.

Nice combo of books … .. All necessary for a good living

Off lately i devoted my procrastinated time for some script writing for a skit that was supposed to be the part of the on going new year celebration at my office. i have no idea what made take up the task and what the organizers were thinking when they gave it to me. They wanted a Court scene, not the ‘barrister kind’ of court but with king and queen and having some technical dialogs added to it to make it funny. Did they say ‘funny’. Right they have no idea that they just did.

So i finally got down to write. I complete the Initial scene and then i start writing

in a kingdom far far away called Bhool Bhulayya (i know thats a shitty name but i was more bend on having a script than names), there lived a king called Windows 3.1 and queen Linux (so now its technical too)
King (looks at a confused queen ) : dear why do u look like Brad Pitt who just saw Rakhi Sawant in his room
Queen (puzzled) : What?
King : He left the booty for the boobs and now he is seeing an all in one package and is confused.

At this point all writing stopped. I was thinking, if i have to have a decent script i shouldn’t be at least half myself. It shouldn’t contain profanity, more over it should have jokes that people can understand. The Brad Pitt - Rakhi Sawant joke only 2 out of 4 people laughed and 2 asked what does it men. But the 2 did laughed, that does matter. What can i say - Birds of the same feather flock together…

With the absence of a real story my script was not going any where. Then it stuck me, the best comedy is Life. I will write about the incidences that lead to the writing of a script by ME. Cool!!! Thats it.

So wait for the insainly absurd script that is now going to be staged

100s of mails celebrating India’s win. Every mail having the same set of Photos and the same lines and the same message.

But it was this one mail that caught my attention. The mail was just one line and it left me laughing

MISBAH THOUGHT HE WAS SENDING THE BALL TO A PLACE WHERE THERE WAS NO ONE.

HE DID NOT KNOW THAT THERE IS A MALAYALI* IN EVERY CORNER OF THE WORLD!!!

* Malayali is what people of Kerala is known as, after their mother tongue Malayalam.

Sreesanth who took the wicket is a Malayali.

Daily Mail - We’re 16 from the back but nearer 61 from the front

WOW !!! but wait …

I’m depressed .. Cant even approach a girl by her looks

Ok here is an interesting news …

Giant Lego man found in Dutch sea

All the treat ayurvedic
Yet another mail fwd!!! No idea who clicked it…