Category Archives: Sexs

Why I Support The Attack On Women

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Off late there has been a lot of reports, both via the main stream media as well as blogs, about the increasing number of attacks on women. So i decided to do an RCA (Root Cause Analysis) of the situation myself. Basically i wanted to find answer to these questions -

  1. Why do such attacks happen?
  2. Who are these attackers? Are they teenagers or people well in their late 30s?
  3. Whom did they target? What was so special about the people who were attacked?
  4. What they did, is it wrong? … etc.

Problem Statement:

As far what i read in the news papers and what i heard from others discussing, these attacks were orchestrated by people who say they are supporting the ‘Indian Culture‘. They call them selves as the conservators of Indian Culture. The good Samaritans who resorted to a quick resolution of the problem, attacked the women to save the Indian Culture form getting westernized, the same evil forces from which the Mahatma delivered us (they might argue so)

Hence we have our Problem Statement as : The Attack was to preserve/conserve the Indian Culture.

Analysis:

Now that we have defined the problem statment, lets looks at the analysis. Lets define what happened, what were the public reactions like.

The people who attacked women in Mangalore, Bangalore, Mysore (???), some-other-’ore’ etc. ( lets refer them for the time being as SenaPpl), just couldn’t digest the fact that the bharatiya naari (Indian Woman) dressed in jeans and T-s. Plus the fact that they were dining at a lounge, crossing-the road, waiting for a bus or even minding-their-on-business when they where attacked.

The people who were attacked (we will refer them as Victims), were teenagers and techies. The Victims all had one thing in common, they were wearing western clothes – jeans, t-s, skirts etc. If you might notice the attacks were not on women who were wearing saree/salwar/any authentic Indian dress. The SenaPpl were all men. There were no incidends of women attacking men or women attacking women. It was the XY chromosomes attacking the XX Chromosomes.

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Bas Ek Haan Ki Guzarish….

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waiting for love by Lucem Bas Ek Haan Ki Guzarish....What is it about love that makes us so stupid? So stupid that we are ready to bear the agonizing pain of being in love…

At the end of the day when the dust settled, i saw her. The profile was like unmistakably hers. Felt a  familiar pain in me, that i thought would never come back to me ever again, yet there i was feeling vulnerable and my feet sinking.

I was waiting for her at Transit food court of Forum Mall, the place busting with people. She walked towards me with a smile…

6th Feb 2009, after contemplating a lot, from morning till evening, through the daily work, i mustered the courage to pick up the phone and talk to her. She greeted me with a hello, that felt so warm and fresh, that it cooled my senses and took out the nervousness in me.We exchanged the usual, ‘How are you?”,”I’m fine” talk, then i knew it was time for me to make the purpose of my call,

I murmured, “Hi, What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing much, why?”

“Hey, if you are not too busy, would you mind meeting for lunch? Have to tell you something…”

“I’m sorry, i cant, promised that i will join my friend for shopping. But i will be done by 3, can we meet in the evening?”

“Oh that will be great. You pick the place, i’m fine with anyplace”

“No, i fixed the time, you pick the place…”, she argued..

“Ok how about Transit at Forum, 3:30 sharp”

“Ok”, she agreed.

And the call ended with the “Buh Byee’s”, from her… Wow i was so elated that, my team mates asked me why i was smiling without a reason. I didn’t had an answer for them.

She was special. The past experience, had left a deep gash in my heart and the way i looked at life. I felt it healing and no longer felt dead at heart. I felt revived and relived. Rest of the day, went by without even me realizing it. She was there in my thoughts, i didn’t know what else to do. I counted the seconds that went by, but didn’t realize them turning into minutes and minutes into hours. I was lost in her thoughts, thinking how i would ever be able to confess to her what i felt.

Before even i realized it was Saturday, 7th Feb 2009, dragged myself out of the bed, to take a peek at the time, 12:30PM. Good, i have slept well past the morning, that means that in another 3 hrs i will meet her. I had effectively reduced the heart-ache by sleeping. Had a quick snack, and made me believe that that’s gonna be my breakfast and lunch. I left home at 2:45, to be sure that i’m well ahead of time and she doesn’t have to wait for me. I was there 10 min before our fixed rendezvous time, got a nice cozy place to sit and started counting the time, with occasional glances to the entrance and the mobile awaiting her call.

I spotted her, entering the place, stood up and waved at her and caught her attention. She walked towards me with a smile and sat across the table. I had ordered my favorite Torpedo Prawns from the SeaFoods Bay outlet, (they serve real good fish ‘n chips and prawns), i slid the plate towards her. She took a bite and smiled. She was telling me some thing about the shopping that she did with her friend, smiling occasionally.

I was lost, the earring dancing to every movement of her head, the pearl pendant that went up and down with every breath of hers, constantly tucking the strand of hair that fell on her face… At the corner of her lips i found solace…

“Hello… Are you listening to what i’m telling you…” snap!!!

“Oh sorry! i didnt expect you to turn up in the first place and more over speak so much. We had hardly met more than a couple of times and …”

“Oh c’mon, you have been a cheerful person, so that gave me the comfort factor, so i’m here… Now tell me why you wanted to meet…”

To be precise, i have no idea what i was telling her. But i did speak for 20 min. The conversation was about telling her that, i’m here for a friend of mine, who was interested in her. Finally when i had beaten around the bush, so much that no more bush was left neither here nor in America, i had to tell her the truth.

“The fact is, its me. I really like you…”

I expected her to say a no, and tell me why it cant work out between me and her. But she smiled. She blushed. It felt warm there. She was silent for a minute or two, making eye contact with me occasionally. Those moments was truly unbelievable, it sank the whole hustle around us, everything was quite for those few moments, we looked at each other and smiled…

There was a bottle of water on the table, in those few minutes, she drank half of that and told me, “No one has ever made me drink so much water in so little time, i’ll give you that credit…”, i didn’t really had anything to tell her, just smiled and stared into those eyes.

I had to ask her eventually, “So what do you think…”

“I knew something of this sort was there, but was hoping that you wont say it….”, she smiled after saying this.

“I’m not asking you to take a decision now, think over it, take you time, let me know. The fact is i like you…”

“I know, but you’re JERRY…”

“What do u mean by that?”

“Nothing, you are JERRY!!! I dont know, i’m confused…”

“Look dear, you dont have to give me an answer soon, take you time and i’ll wait. Don’t worry i can take a NO for an answer. So just think and let me know …”

There was a certain relief on her face. She was still smiling. I wanted to shout, ‘Kudi hasi tho phasi…’, but it just died within me. We continued talking and enjoyed the rest of evening in each other’s company, till she parted to get back home.

Now i’m waiting… for her reply

… haan, bas ek haan ki guzarish hai ….”

(pic courtesy of – Lucem @ DevianArt)

Mallu in Delhi – Part 2

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December 19, 2008 …

I didn’t expect to write this second part the very next day. But something really funny happened that i had to write about day 2.

After taking the session to a crowd, that enrolled itself for the advanced training, for something that they didn’t know, i was quite exhausted. Every time i finish a slide i’d ask them, “Did u guys understand that?”. They all will then have that look like Katrina Kaif just asked them out. Interestingly the only girl in the session, was trying out the student exercises and was cursing big time – “Yeh, kitna ghatiya system hai…”. With all that, i needed a break.

I decided to walk it up to the guest house. After all it was just a 15 min walk from the office. Got out to the main road and got on to a cycle rickshaw. I was told by my friend from Delhi that one of things to try out in Delhi was to take a ride in one of the cycle rickshaws. Hopped on to one of them and as i was nearing my guest house, i changed my plan.

(translation of my conversation with the rickshaw guy)

“Do you know any shopping malls near by..”

“Yes sir”

“Can you take me there?”

“Ok”

So he started peddling. On and on and on. On the way i see one Grand Mall, he didn’t stop there. Then i see a Mega Mall. he didnt stop there either. I asked him why he didn’t stop any where there? He replied that he will take me to a better place. 20 minutes into the ride i end up in a place like the BDA Complex in Bangalore and there was a big red board on top of that building and on it was written in white Arial Bold font – “DLF Shopping Mall”. Yes! he took me to a building named shopping mall. I just couldn’t stop laughing at myself. Paid the rickshaw guy and walked back to Mega Mall. All the way laughing at myself.

So if u ever end up in Delhi/Gurgaon/any NCR region, dont ask for shopping malls. Just ask for ‘malls’. I must warn you, if u cant say ‘mall’ with the ‘o’, and can only say that with an ‘a’; Oops! My advice – stay at home, Delhi is not the place for you. Or may be if you are lucky enough the mall can get you to a place full of ‘mall’.

Wedding Bells!!! Uhh What? Where’s my BFG?

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(Still wondering what a BFG is? read on…)

I was there, standing at a railway crossing. I can walk across the rails and go ahead on the road, on my way, where ever it can take me. But, No! I park my bike and start walking on the railway line. Minutes and hours pass by. I come across green meadows, houses, hills; it was a timeless journey. No thirst, no hunger, no pain, nothing. It was me, the railway line and the view. I don’t know how far i was walking. The sun was there shining high up in the sky. He never moved. I was lost in my thoughts.

It has been quite sometime that I’ve started hearing some strange sounds. It sounded like the ringing bell of an old steam-locomotive. Ting…. Ting…. Ting….

I was high on my spirits. After a long walk, i have a train to go forward. This was like the ultimate dream. Or am i dreaming? I stop to turn around. What the…. my legs are glued to the ground. I cant move!!!. I was struggling like hell to free myself. Behind me i could see the dust and smoke rising up in the horizon. What ever it may be, the dream was just about to turn ugly. My heart’s beating a 1000 beats per minute.

I look behind. I see a shining far behind. Its small, its fast and its coming my way. I’m struggling like hell. I hear the bell ringing even closer. I turn behind… What the #$#%^&^(*(&)(*_)… a pandit with neatly shaved head, big pony tail flying behind him, ringing his bell with one hand and a ‘portable’-fireplace (might be some new 21st century invention).. running towards me. What on heaven’s sake is that?

“Son”, holy crap!!! its my dad, standing to my right.

“What… How… Why…”

“Son”, jeeezzzz, its my mom, standing to my left.

“What… What are you guys doing here?”

“Tie the knot my son!!!”, they both say that with absolute precision that can even leave the most meticulously synchronized systems to shame.

“Tie what?”, i look in front of me and i almost faint. I’m holding a ‘mangalsuthru’ and there is this girl standing in front of me. I don’t know jack shit about her. Is this a right time to at least ask her name?. What am i doing …

Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting …….

I was still sweating and breathing heavily as i jumped out of my bed. Checked around me and all round my flat just to make sure that i didn’t really wake up after my first-night… or worse 20 years after my marriage. So why do i get the feeling that this is what is going to happen to me????

Parental-pressure is high! By parental-pressure i mean damn crazy pressure that can cause you to go sleepless for days at end. If i thought that could only be the only one which can cause unrest in my serene life, i was wrong. There was… No… there IS a far more greater pressure that will eventually get happy bachelors to get married. Its scientifically called Peer-Pressure a.k.a Friends.

Celibacy is not my way of life. But Yes, face it! Its your FRIENDS who will eventually get you married. They will all be there. They are the greatest treasure that u can have. Even long after you are gone, you will live within your friends. ‘Gone’ as in not like you are dead. ‘Gone’ as in, you go on-site and they will still talk about you as, ‘Kaminaa Saala!!! On-site se kuch nahi leke aayega. Fakeeerrrr…’. You live now, not after you’re dead.

They are there. But have you ever though about what happens when they all eventually face the running-pandit, gets run over by him, never gets a chance to wake up and lives the ‘dream’. Oops you’re in trouble.

They all get married and start their family. They no longer enjoy the jokes that you shared. Even worse they even reach a point where they tell you, “Dude don’t talk about all that, she doesn’t like all that”. Worse still, his wife hates you and more worse, her husband starts having feelings for you.

Oops! your friend will change. They all change eventually and you are left alone. You just cant go and make more friends because, the ‘make-great-friends’ list gets shorter with age. Soon you will find yourself without the great friends that you used to hand out with, no new friends and you are being treated like an adult where ever you go. And i believe the later stage is definitely not where i want to find myself at.

So now there is even more pressure on you to get married…

Whats that… Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting… Where is that BFG (Big Fucking Gun), i’m gonna kill that pandit…

WTF… its full platoon of relatives and friends marching towards me. Dad and Mom holding a garland each, friends with kids and its then i realize that the pandit was just a side-kick.

I just stand there like a scapegoat as they dance around me… Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting…

The Bad Day That I Loved…

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The recipe for a perfect bad day was in place. I slept through the morning alarm, woke up at 11AM and missed the meeting at 10. To top things up, i woke up with a bad headache. Hangover from last night! 2 large vodkas with coke with 2 cubes of ice, that’s all that i had. Plus the fact that i went out on a weekday for a drive with the gang. I wasn’t home till 3 in the morning.

Well, i sat there on the bed contemplating what to do now? Obviously i had to get dressed asap and reach office. In the mean time i had to think of some real good reason to tell my manager why i was late. Cant tell him that i was working late, because the release was done and there was not much of work left. Ok, the most used and reused reason always works, ‘I wasn’t feeling well, i was having a bad headache!’. Thinking that will bail me out i had a quick shower, dressed and reached office.

As if i had a clue, work piled on me when i got my senses back. I thought about the book, “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Dr. Spencer Johnson, now i should be Haw. How can i be Haw? Screw it, let me get through the day first. Just want to get back home. Some how i managed to push myself through what was left of the day. Remember, i reached office at 12PM. Finally after managing to stage some ‘i’m feeling sick’ drama i was out of office by 5PM. Please don’t ask me how, but i managed it.

Whats next? Took my bike and was out of Embassy Golf Links, on to Intermediate Ring Road and i was headed towards K-Town. Hmmm.. none of my friends are going to be free till 7PM. Not even my jobless sweetheart, my pseudo-wife in the group, who only has time to cut her hair. Someone should tell her that at this rate she would go hairless in a month or less. The fact is that, that someone should be Mr. India, not because he can charm her into not doing it, because she is the bully of the group and we all are, to be frank, scared to tell her this. That even applies to her ‘real’ boyfriend too.

This did bring a smile on my face, which quickly faded into something like – Ooops i’m screwed again – when i realized that i jumped the signal at Sony World. Throttled to the max and even before the cowboys of Bangalore Traffic Police could jump in front of my bike, i had crossed e-zone. Hmmm where do i go next. Let me go to Forum. I’ll go to Landmark and roam around till everyone is free and its time when the ‘gang’ can meet up.

I was feeling much better compared to how i had started the day. It was returning to normalcy. 30 min in Landmark and i was bored to my karmic senses. Oh crap, let me have a coffee now. I went all the way to CCD and ordered for a Mocha with an extra espresso shot. That ought to cheer me up a bit. Waiting … waiting … waiting … looking at the chicken-tikka sandwich, thinking over what had happened till now, i lost track of my environment and was cursing me in my head when,

“What a bad a day!!!”

“Tell me about it…”, i replied.

Oops. Did i just say that out loud. With ninja-reflexes and blood rushing to my head and beads of sweat forming on my forehead, i looked to the side, to find those beautiful hazel-eyes looking quizzically at me. The ninja ran for cover, more blood rushed to my head and i was sweating so badly that i could have used a shower at that point.

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