I need reservation

Yes, I’m asking for reservation. That will be 33.333333 (add as many 3’s as you need).

No I haven’t changed my gender and I’m not planning to get into politics. But in a house, where you are the only male who has to survive against 2 women, trust me, you need reservation.

With Emma and her mommy at one side, it’s tough for me, Emma’s dad, to do things my way. My things, the stuff that I need were all relocated or packed away to make room for Emma’s and mommy’s things. Even my prized Arduino board, like the rest of the electronics stuff among other things have all been packed into boxes and cast away into an unknown place.

There is an ongoing fight to control the angular momentum of the fan. Even during these cool, pleasant Bangalore mornings, the fan has to be turned on. Forget the days when it’s cold. For some apparent, unexplained reason both mom and daughter have high body temperature that neither of their bodies are able to regulate or successfully cool down. That calls for the fan switch to be on and the poor dad to crawl under a thick blanket.

Yes, blanket and bed space, the other things that I need to fight for. I go to bed with my wife, and Emma happily and peacefully (we think so) asleep in her cradle. But at some random point in the night, my daughter magically appears in the bed between me and my wife. Now she needs to be under the blanket and needs bed space. By the time I had given her those, I’m left with a ¾inch X 2m piece of cloth to cover my body on a 1inch X 2m bed space for the rest of the night, trying to get some sleep before I freeze to death.

I wonder why they need the blanket and the fan at the same time. I guess I will never know.

There was a time when I used to come back from office, pick up my iPad and read through what had happened to the online world. Someone somewhere would have gone wrong on the Internet the past 24hrs and it would have made some interesting read. Well, the only place where I could read now is the loo. But I guess they found out about that and my days and numbered. Yes my wifey caught me re-tweeting when I was in the act.

The developments of the motoring world were closely followed before. But couple of nights back, when my friend told me that he was getting a Vento. I asked him, which car was that. His jaw dropped so hard and made what is now the pothole in front of Boca Grande restaurant in Koramangala.

Enough is enough! After being a part time cook, driver, maid and a full time ATM machine, this dad needs his space at home.

I need my rightful 33.3333333% reservation.

Katy Perry v/s Wonder Woman

No, they are not having a duel.

With all the controversy that is going around with the attire Katy Perry wore for a Sesame Street for a with Elmo, we need to think, is it fair? I mean she wore a dress that showed a bit of cleavage and when she ran ‘they’ bounced a bit. That’s all. Not like she was all ‘meaty’ like Lady Gaga!

If we look at it, what was wrong with her dress anyway? We could let our children grow up reading and watching this super lady -

wonderwoman Katy Perry v/s Wonder Woman

Then what was wrong with Katy Perry wearing the dress that she was wearing in Sesame Street.

katy perry elmo 0 Katy Perry v/s Wonder Woman

If Wonder Woman can then so can Katy Perry! Take a look at both the videos -

They both ran, they both bounced so what’s the big deal! No one went after Wonder Woman and Linda Carter. Then why Katy Perry? If at all someone is at fault, then it’s Wonder Woman – she didn’t sing and run, and the background score is also bad. They should have had the Baywatch OST for both the videos in slo-mo!

Nonsense!

Runaway Groom

runawaygroom Runaway Groom

[Runaway Groom - Prologue]

This real life story is set in the past, some 5-7 years ago. Well lets not leave any room for uncertainty, 6 years in the past.

George, a Delhi-ite who had a penchant for movies, good food and almost loved everything under the sun – almost! He hated two kinds of people. Pledging – all Indians are my brothers and sisters – never really included two kinds of people for him. A deep aversion for Malayali girls – they smell of sticky coconut-oil, burps and have no idea about a process called waxing . And finally Tamilians – for him they were dark people who cried for the Kauveri water and more water, though they never understood the idea of taking a shower.

Arathi Srinivasan was born to a well to do ‘gelf’ settled malayali parents. Hailing originally from Kuttanad, but brought up in Chennai by her maternal grandparents because her parents were busy milking the camel for gold and oil in ‘gelf’. A beauty in herself with stunning eyes, cascading hair, polyglot, smart witty and focused in life.

With the IT boom and the blooming job opportunities, both of them found themselves working for the same multinational in Bangalore. Though they had common friends, Arathi was like double-jeopardy for George. Deep down he hated her, though he would give a polished smile once in a while.

His nightmares started, when his best buddy Sundareshan Nair a.k.a Sundaran, started to fall for Arathi’s features. With Sundaran never having the courage to ask her out, George found himself being the ‘messenger’ of Sundaran, having to go up to Arathi in asking how she was and what she was up to. Every time he had to do that, his molars wore down by 100th of an inch.

Finally he decided to end this torture and fix things up between Sundaran and Arathi. He fixed a Saturday evening dinner with Arathi for his buddy Sundaran, who had almost turned into his foe. Sundaran spent the following days plucking flower petals against ‘Aru loves me, Aru loves me not’ and the nights telling George about what he thought would be the best place for him and Aru to settle down an have a few kids.


D-Day, 5.5 years ago, Chung-Wah Restaurant Koramangala:

George reluctantly had to accompany Sundaran to the restaurant as Sundaran developed last minute cold-feet. They sat across the table waiting for Arathi to turn up. She arrived half and hour late with her friend. On seeing the guys seated ,she walked straight up to the table and sat next to Geroge.

To this day, George swears that this is what was exactly going through his mind – “Why is she sitting next to me? Why cant she sit with him? What the fuck is wrong with her? I can smell the coconut-oil on her hair… Sundaran fucker i’m gonna kill you for this”.

But Sundaran was all long faced by that time. Unwillingly, they ordered food and ate and left. All through out the dinner, George just listened to the conversation and only answered to questions directed at him.

That was the start of everything. Arathi took interest in Geroge and she finally seduced him. But still we have two conflicting versions of the story here. Arathi says that though the feelings were mutual towards each other, she wanted Geroge to confess it first. But George denied everything 3 years back. He said he was being tortured, and the only was out of it was to feed the wolves what they were looking for and get back home. So he said what Arathi wanted to her and left the place.


Fast-fwd to 2009 and we have a couple who are getting married in less than a month. They make plans for their future.

“Georgie, we will buy a house and covert one of the rooms into a reading room. We will have a big shelf and lots of books to read. Our kids will read and learn”

“But Aru, we shouldnt forget the shelf for the original-uncut-director’s edition DVDs i have collected over the years and the home theater that you promised to buy after the wedding”

They fight and Aru calls him, “Georgieeee” in a soft, stern and confident way and George just smiles and obliges.

George and i still meet for drink and he says, “Fuck man! If only that Sundaran had balls, i would have been still single!”


Epilogue

As George says these days, “Never hold prejudice against anyone, ever! You might end up marrying them”

Runaway Groom – Prologue

“So what’s your New Year resolution…”runawaygroom Runaway Groom   Prologue

“Nothing much, I’m getting married..”

“Awwhhhh!!!”

Depending up on the tone, length and energy that takes for that ‘awwh’ to come out of the person, gives me a fair bit of idea about what the person wanted to say and then reduced it as an ‘awwhhh’. Nevertheless, i will be married in 2010. Why 2010? That’s because she said she wanted to get married in 2010. (She has already started dictating me around)

What gives me the at most confidence is seeing total misfits work out magic together. Misfits.. that might bee too naive, misleading and lessening of a word to use to describe the two main characters in the following narration.

This is the story of George and Arathi. To the reader who know me, this is not the story of Sandy(@2s) and Soumya(@soumyageorge). Ohh they fit very well. Every time i meet them i see The Batman and The Joker and the immortal dialog spoken between them (add the arrow bubbles above heir head) – “You complete me!”. Though i wont say who is who in that context.

But George and Arathi were different and it was causalities that lead to their union.

Disclaimer:

All characters in this short story has been conceptualized from real characters and bears absolute resemblance to living people (none of them are dead yet, not at least for the next 50 years). This is not my story and i’m not dumb ‘now’ to do that. If the characters happen to read this then they owe me a pint each!

Happy Reading.

[Link to Story]

Namma Bengaluru Awards 2009

Have you ever felt the need to recognize a person from you locality for his or her contributions to the society, may that be big or small?nba logo Namma Bengaluru Awards 2009

Have you felt the need to recognize a Govt. employee that goes beyond his duties and sets an example by outright commitment to his work?

How about recognizing an NGO for its public service or a Residence association for its diligence in waste management, maintaining the greenery or its initiative in having a rain harvesting project?

Bangalore is a city that is vibrant because of its people that make so. There are ordinary people among us that do extra-ordinary work to help the society and each other. How about recognizing them? Wont that be an inspiration for them to continue doing what they were doing and for others to come forward, making The Garden City, truly a great place to live in.

Namma Bengaluru Awards 2009 is aimed to do that.

Straight out of their site  -

An initiative by Member of Parliament and Convener of ABIDe – Mr. Rajeev Chandrasekhar, Namma Bengaluru Awards is launched with the vision to inculcate a sense of optimism and interest in the minds of the common man and bring to the limelight ordinary citizens for their extraordinary contributions, recognize exemplary contributions made by individuals who have contributed to Bengaluru’s developments, for those who have enriched the lives of common man, to the ordinary citizens for their extra ordinary contributions and to create Ambassadors of best practice who set standard for the rest to follow.

The citizens of Bangalore will be recognized under two major categories -

  • Namma Bengaluru Awards for Public Officials and AgenciesTo recognize public officials and government agencies (Like MPs, MLAs, MLCs, Officers & Staff of Civic agencies like BDA, Bescom, BBMP etc)
  • Namma Bengaluru Awards for Private Citizens and InstitutionsAimed at recognizing efforts of citizens and private institutions including NGOs, RWA, Companies, schools and others

I know what you’re thinking. Why would you ever want to recognize anyone from BDA, Bescom or BBMP or any Govt. Official for that matter. Thats where you’re missing the point. Inspite of the fact being that we all hate the govt. officials and brand them as lazy 9-4, job secure, bribe-demanding people there are some really gem-of-a-characters among them. Why cant we just recognize them? Why cant we honour them? Dont belive me?

Well if u ask me i would love to recommend the BMTC Volvo bus drivers and conductors for their courteous behavior. Every time i have travelled in one of them, they have always had service-with-a-smile motto. Same goes with the Bescom guy who turned up on a Sunday evening because there was power out-age at our area.nominate Namma Bengaluru Awards 2009

Last day i was at Namma Bengaluru Foundation‘s office, which is more or less the same as Mr. Rajeev’s office, to be briefed about the whole initiative. I was joined there by Balu and we were both surprised with the magnitude of responses that Namma Bengaluru Awards 2009 has received.

The nominations were opened on 14th of October and closes on 14th of November 2009. Guess how many nominations they got till now. Well Balu and me guessed somewhere around 250-300. No, they have so far got close to 2000 nominations. Yes thats right – 2000. And in one case, all the students of a class wanted to nominate their teacher for the award. Thats the beauty of this. Only two categories, Govt. or Private sector and you can nominate anyone!

Go ahead Nominate! Spread the Word!

Read more here about the awards and how to nominate.