Stockings, 10 Degrees Below Zero

We, my wife and i, are from India. More specifically we hail from Kerala. We have spent most of our lifetime here in the southern states of India. We were taught that there are 4 main seasons – Summer, Winter, Autumn and Spring. Obviously these were added to the curriculum by the British and we still learn about these seasons in school. But, only we know about the actual seasons here. The 4 main seasons in Kerala would be – Hot, Hot and Humid, Hotter and Humid and Mildly Hot.

Having heard about winter all our lives, we were prepared with our jackets and boots to face the sub zero weather, when we land in Seoul. But in spite of all that, we walked back into the airport faster than we walked out. It was cold and freezing beyond our all imaginations. We would gladly state that, Hell is not hot, it is cold! Fucking cold!

One of the best things about Seoul are the women there. I’m not talking about women in their retirement age or the women who are less than a decade from meeting their maker, but women of the current generation. They are classy. You just can’t help, but notice the way they dress and how they accessories. It was quite natural that one of our favorite past time there, while on the road, was to check out these ladies. Let me show you a photo.

SeoulDay02 2 199x300 Stockings, 10 Degrees Below ZeroLook, how neatly and elegantly she is dressed. Like her, they all would dress in a classy way and it is a sight that you have to see for yourself. We on the other hand, the ones who came from the ‘hot’ land, would dress up in 3-layers of clothing inside, a jacket on the outside, cap, gloves, boots and would look like giant ugly fluffy dolls.

Now take a closer look at that photo again. Do you see something wrong. With all said and done, what we never understood, were those women who would dress up in mini-skirts or shorts and wear nothing but thin stockings and a shoe. While we would be freezing, they would happily stroll, like it’s the middle of the freaking summer. Stockings in winter, what we think, is like yet another fashion statement.

Sometimes, it is better to leave things the way they are and not derive any logic out of them.

I need reservation

Yes, I’m asking for reservation. That will be 33.333333 (add as many 3’s as you need).

No I haven’t changed my gender and I’m not planning to get into politics. But in a house, where you are the only male who has to survive against 2 women, trust me, you need reservation.

With Emma and her mommy at one side, it’s tough for me, Emma’s dad, to do things my way. My things, the stuff that I need were all relocated or packed away to make room for Emma’s and mommy’s things. Even my prized Arduino board, like the rest of the electronics stuff among other things have all been packed into boxes and cast away into an unknown place.

There is an ongoing fight to control the angular momentum of the fan. Even during these cool, pleasant Bangalore mornings, the fan has to be turned on. Forget the days when it’s cold. For some apparent, unexplained reason both mom and daughter have high body temperature that neither of their bodies are able to regulate or successfully cool down. That calls for the fan switch to be on and the poor dad to crawl under a thick blanket.

Yes, blanket and bed space, the other things that I need to fight for. I go to bed with my wife, and Emma happily and peacefully (we think so) asleep in her cradle. But at some random point in the night, my daughter magically appears in the bed between me and my wife. Now she needs to be under the blanket and needs bed space. By the time I had given her those, I’m left with a ¾inch X 2m piece of cloth to cover my body on a 1inch X 2m bed space for the rest of the night, trying to get some sleep before I freeze to death.

I wonder why they need the blanket and the fan at the same time. I guess I will never know.

There was a time when I used to come back from office, pick up my iPad and read through what had happened to the online world. Someone somewhere would have gone wrong on the Internet the past 24hrs and it would have made some interesting read. Well, the only place where I could read now is the loo. But I guess they found out about that and my days and numbered. Yes my wifey caught me re-tweeting when I was in the act.

The developments of the motoring world were closely followed before. But couple of nights back, when my friend told me that he was getting a Vento. I asked him, which car was that. His jaw dropped so hard and made what is now the pothole in front of Boca Grande restaurant in Koramangala.

Enough is enough! After being a part time cook, driver, maid and a full time ATM machine, this dad needs his space at home.

I need my rightful 33.3333333% reservation.

Katy Perry v/s Wonder Woman

No, they are not having a duel.

With all the controversy that is going around with the attire Katy Perry wore for a Sesame Street for a with Elmo, we need to think, is it fair? I mean she wore a dress that showed a bit of cleavage and when she ran ‘they’ bounced a bit. That’s all. Not like she was all ‘meaty’ like Lady Gaga!

If we look at it, what was wrong with her dress anyway? We could let our children grow up reading and watching this super lady -

wonderwoman Katy Perry v/s Wonder Woman

Then what was wrong with Katy Perry wearing the dress that she was wearing in Sesame Street.

katy perry elmo 0 Katy Perry v/s Wonder Woman

If Wonder Woman can then so can Katy Perry! Take a look at both the videos -

They both ran, they both bounced so what’s the big deal! No one went after Wonder Woman and Linda Carter. Then why Katy Perry? If at all someone is at fault, then it’s Wonder Woman – she didn’t sing and run, and the background score is also bad. They should have had the Baywatch OST for both the videos in slo-mo!

Nonsense!

Runaway Groom

runawaygroom Runaway Groom

[Runaway Groom - Prologue]

This real life story is set in the past, some 5-7 years ago. Well lets not leave any room for uncertainty, 6 years in the past.

George, a Delhi-ite who had a penchant for movies, good food and almost loved everything under the sun – almost! He hated two kinds of people. Pledging – all Indians are my brothers and sisters – never really included two kinds of people for him. A deep aversion for Malayali girls – they smell of sticky coconut-oil, burps and have no idea about a process called waxing . And finally Tamilians – for him they were dark people who cried for the Kauveri water and more water, though they never understood the idea of taking a shower.

Arathi Srinivasan was born to a well to do ‘gelf’ settled malayali parents. Hailing originally from Kuttanad, but brought up in Chennai by her maternal grandparents because her parents were busy milking the camel for gold and oil in ‘gelf’. A beauty in herself with stunning eyes, cascading hair, polyglot, smart witty and focused in life.

With the IT boom and the blooming job opportunities, both of them found themselves working for the same multinational in Bangalore. Though they had common friends, Arathi was like double-jeopardy for George. Deep down he hated her, though he would give a polished smile once in a while.

His nightmares started, when his best buddy Sundareshan Nair a.k.a Sundaran, started to fall for Arathi’s features. With Sundaran never having the courage to ask her out, George found himself being the ‘messenger’ of Sundaran, having to go up to Arathi in asking how she was and what she was up to. Every time he had to do that, his molars wore down by 100th of an inch.

Finally he decided to end this torture and fix things up between Sundaran and Arathi. He fixed a Saturday evening dinner with Arathi for his buddy Sundaran, who had almost turned into his foe. Sundaran spent the following days plucking flower petals against ‘Aru loves me, Aru loves me not’ and the nights telling George about what he thought would be the best place for him and Aru to settle down an have a few kids.


D-Day, 5.5 years ago, Chung-Wah Restaurant Koramangala:

George reluctantly had to accompany Sundaran to the restaurant as Sundaran developed last minute cold-feet. They sat across the table waiting for Arathi to turn up. She arrived half and hour late with her friend. On seeing the guys seated ,she walked straight up to the table and sat next to Geroge.

To this day, George swears that this is what was exactly going through his mind – “Why is she sitting next to me? Why cant she sit with him? What the fuck is wrong with her? I can smell the coconut-oil on her hair… Sundaran fucker i’m gonna kill you for this”.

But Sundaran was all long faced by that time. Unwillingly, they ordered food and ate and left. All through out the dinner, George just listened to the conversation and only answered to questions directed at him.

That was the start of everything. Arathi took interest in Geroge and she finally seduced him. But still we have two conflicting versions of the story here. Arathi says that though the feelings were mutual towards each other, she wanted Geroge to confess it first. But George denied everything 3 years back. He said he was being tortured, and the only was out of it was to feed the wolves what they were looking for and get back home. So he said what Arathi wanted to her and left the place.


Fast-fwd to 2009 and we have a couple who are getting married in less than a month. They make plans for their future.

“Georgie, we will buy a house and covert one of the rooms into a reading room. We will have a big shelf and lots of books to read. Our kids will read and learn”

“But Aru, we shouldnt forget the shelf for the original-uncut-director’s edition DVDs i have collected over the years and the home theater that you promised to buy after the wedding”

They fight and Aru calls him, “Georgieeee” in a soft, stern and confident way and George just smiles and obliges.

George and i still meet for drink and he says, “Fuck man! If only that Sundaran had balls, i would have been still single!”


Epilogue

As George says these days, “Never hold prejudice against anyone, ever! You might end up marrying them”

Runaway Groom – Prologue

“So what’s your New Year resolution…”runawaygroom Runaway Groom   Prologue

“Nothing much, I’m getting married..”

“Awwhhhh!!!”

Depending up on the tone, length and energy that takes for that ‘awwh’ to come out of the person, gives me a fair bit of idea about what the person wanted to say and then reduced it as an ‘awwhhh’. Nevertheless, i will be married in 2010. Why 2010? That’s because she said she wanted to get married in 2010. (She has already started dictating me around)

What gives me the at most confidence is seeing total misfits work out magic together. Misfits.. that might bee too naive, misleading and lessening of a word to use to describe the two main characters in the following narration.

This is the story of George and Arathi. To the reader who know me, this is not the story of Sandy(@2s) and Soumya(@soumyageorge). Ohh they fit very well. Every time i meet them i see The Batman and The Joker and the immortal dialog spoken between them (add the arrow bubbles above heir head) – “You complete me!”. Though i wont say who is who in that context.

But George and Arathi were different and it was causalities that lead to their union.

Disclaimer:

All characters in this short story has been conceptualized from real characters and bears absolute resemblance to living people (none of them are dead yet, not at least for the next 50 years). This is not my story and i’m not dumb ‘now’ to do that. If the characters happen to read this then they owe me a pint each!

Happy Reading.

[Link to Story]