Girls : A Language Hazard at the Gym

I haven’t been much of a sports person all my life. But i was fit enough to play a match of cricket or a game of basketball. Of late the techie job that i have and my kind of lifestyle started to take a toll on my health. Following my employer’s motto, i ‘THINK’ and i IDEATE but i also took on the activity of IDLE-ating.

How bad did i get? Remember the movie Ice Age and the character Sid. He makes a portrait of himself on the rock and Diego draws a circle around his belly. Ya i started to look like that. Though more in a human form.

2 days back, a head rush or rather a knee jerk decision found me going up to the watchman and asking him the keys to the Gym, at my apartment.

Got into my room, changed and headed to the gym on the terrace. Most of the people are too lazy and more over since it was 7:30 in the evening, i didn’t expect any one to be there at the gym. As i neared i could make out that someone was using the thread-mill.

But Who?

OMG! A girl. And not bad .. she’s hot!!! Now its more of a challenge to me. My right-side of the brain telling my left-leg to step forward and enter the gym. At the same time my left-side of the brain ordering the right-leg to turn back. In that split second i almost did a 180 deg split, like Bruce Lee.

Snap! and i’m in the gym. I’m all too serious now. Kept the keys and the mobile by the window. Looked at her and said a ‘Hi’ and introduced myself. Hmmm.. she is smart. Doing her 2nd year BSc Computer Science at Christ College. And she answers to “Manisha”.

C’mon tiger! You can do it. Be cool. Do what you are here for. Ask her for a date! No No .. Do the damn exercise. If not, you will eventually look like Sid. Then even if you are migrating to avoid the Ice Age you wont even be half as lucky as Sid. Your story will end at the hands of the Rhinos.”

Ok, straight away, for the dumbbells. Hmm 10Kg, lifted it.. naah too heavy. Ahhh, 5Kg, i picked one in each hand. In any given situation people will lift the dumbbell one at time, bottom-up, pumping their biceps. I didn’t.

May be because i was praying to God not to mess up and may be that Jesus decided to play a prank with me, i did the worst thing ever. I lifted them shoulder height with my arms stretched out to the sides. Yes, Jesus got me crucified in a dumbbell situation. And the 30 year old crucified virgin started having fun with me. I began bringing them both forward and then back all in an arm stretched situation. I began clapping with 5Kg dumbbells. I only clapped twice, had to keep them back as i realized it would be a nice time to put’em back.

After that i did ask her some thing and we did talk for like 10 sec. But i was too fucked with what i did, i just cant remember.

Well by that time she was done with the thread-mill. I thought, ok now its time to show her what i can do on a thread mill. I will just run till she leaves.My eyes just popped out when i saw that she was running for 30min flat. So, lets just walk on the thread-mill.

Noooo! she just got the mat and is about to do something lying on the floor. What do i ask her? What do i ask her? Wait my mobile is still near the window. I will ask her to get hat for me and i can thanks her for that…

“Excuse me! Can you please get me my mobile… Its there near the window”

“Sure”, she promptly gets me my mobile… Mobile you lucky bastard.

I take the mobile from her, still walking very proudly on the thread-mill, keeps it in the holder, which was looking more like a bottle holder and then revert

“Sorry, Thank You, I’m “.

She just smiles and walks away.

What ever i did never got me sweating, but that dialog just sure did get me all sweating. From that moment onwards i just walked and never looked at her!!!

P.S. : I’m thankful that she doesnt have the Tuss-Effect !!!

To CANCEL a Connection…

rcomm logonew To CANCEL a Connection...Take my advice.

If u don’t have a Reliance connection phone/datacard or anything similar don’t take it.

And if by chance and you had to take it. Don’t think of Canceling it!!!

Why? Hear my story :

It was during Barcamp Banaglore 5, that i had discontinued the Tata Indicom Broadband connection as their service was shity. YES damn SHIT!!!.

My thoughts went like this – i have a laptop so why don’t i go for mobility. Let me take the the Reliance NetConnect connection. The data card looks good and works out of USB plus their tariff plan is also good.Finally at an unfortunate moment i took that connection.

Is there a word in the dictionary that describes worse than ‘shity’? Even ‘ultra-f***king-shit-able’ doesn’t properly suffice. It disconnects if i try to check Gmail and connect to GTalk at the same time.

So i decided, after 2 months, enough is enough – cancel the connection. Filled all the forms, submitted the application, paid the outstanding amount and answered two rounds of dumb feedback calls.

Q : Sir, why did you cancel the connection?

A : The Service is BAD.

Q : Why sir?

A : Its Shitty!!! (how the hell am i supposed to know why its BAD. You should be knowing it)

When i thought all was done, in comes a bill at my door step, the next month. Dialed the customer care, told them the scenario. Thought it could be a genuine mistake. WRONG!!! In comes another bill the next month and the next and this month too.

After that a wave of calls inĀ  Hindi, Kannada and English asking me to pay the bill. Still the woes continue and the bill amount keeps on adding every month icon sad To CANCEL a Connection...

cm message To CANCEL a Connection...

Nothing helps. Complaints at customer care doesn’t help, blasting them for calling me doesn’t help, pleading doesn’t help….

PLEASE DON’T EVER TAKE A RELIANCE CONNECTION

Yes!! Mr. Anil you’re having a very sustainable and rewarding relation with ME.

Indian Premier League, The Commercialized Monstrosity

200px Ipl logo new Indian Premier League, The Commercialized MonstrosityI have nothing against cricket as a sport. But the way it is over commercialized is what i hate. And for that reasons IPL or the Indian Premier League.

Cricket is getting an unwanted publicity in India and this is not the way it is. But sadly it is. Having cricket matches are fine, but letting them spend billions just for a game, is that ever justified? But why billions, that too in a country when an average man is struggling to make his ends meet.

Ads, campaigns, publicity stunts. Do we need all these? Does the real spirit of the game still exist under such monstrosity? They play the game. Get paid handsomely and goes home. What happens to the poor common man who came to watch the matches and the others alike? The game is generating the wrong kind of passion among fans and followers. The sooner we realize this we can save the game and the future of the other games as well.

Already people have started to experience the headaches of IPL. Right now as i type, people are complaining that there is a huge traffic at MG Road, Bangalore, close to the stadium where the match is underway. IPL site is down too(good). The only good thing about the whole IPL match is that, my manager has left early for the day and now i can sit and blog for the rest of the evening. The whole office looks very much deserted.

Will IPL ever pay for the loss in business and damages. The people who ‘owns’ the team has already confirmed that they are in loss. Huge loss in money, time, business and rest of the balance sheet will follow soon.

Why couldnt they just support the ICL? Not to mention the ICL finals was as gripping as the T20 Finals.

chennai lg Indian Premier League, The Commercialized Monstrosity deccan kg Indian Premier League, The Commercialized Monstrosity del dd lg Indian Premier League, The Commercialized Monstrositykol kr lg Indian Premier League, The Commercialized Monstrosity kxip lg Indian Premier League, The Commercialized Monstrosity mum ind lg Indian Premier League, The Commercialized Monstrosity raj logo Indian Premier League, The Commercialized Monstrosity rc lg Indian Premier League, The Commercialized Monstrosity The comedy never ends …

Valentine’s Day Contemplations

“You don’t have to get me a red-rose. I’m already yours!!!”, well i still don’t know if that was a trick question or not that she threw at me. All i asked her, “Shall i give you a red-rose?”

Or rather i wasn’t supposed to ask anything like that. May be it was stupid cupid playing the role of the culprit. How the hell would i ever know what she meant? Cant they just ask us what they want rather than using virtual pointers. We run Java, pointers are not an option and why else do you think we date so many and never result in garbled memory. The core is never dumped.(2 years with IT industry this is all that i have left in my mind)

Sandy had said it the right way,

“And they say, love makes the world go round.
It sure does, in damned circles of nothingness.”

Inspired from Love and his post on Nothingness, came my two posts Second in Love and Second in Love – The Closure, two close to reality stories. 3 in fact!

Trust me “Guys who are Single”, the world will be mean to you, but once SHE is there in your life, your life can never get meaner. Jokes apart they do bring in a sense of orderliness if your really serious. I have seen that in people. They change overnight. Power of Love, they say, Power of HER i say.

Some people really live their life out on LOVE. They forget that they have a life that’s precious and they forget it. All the sweet words that you might have said and those moments that you cherished are all good. But once you break-up, you need to move on. Kambath Ishq, is to be blamed? No dude. Its you at blame’s end. Move on!!!

GUYs never ever on a very special day, especially on this day, tell her that you will get food from outside. You can never be convincing enough and wont sound sweet to her at all. Trust me all that She would hear would be, “I cant eat the carp that you prepare everyday! I need a break at least today. So lets eat outside”. Let her to decide. Its the safest bet. Watch “Pyaar Ke Side-Effects”, its a nice start for beginners.

As a parting gift, here is my 2 cents – Never trust someone who says, “I cant live without YOU! You’re my life”. Thats the biggest lie in the world.

And with all these said, I wonder why i’m still here in office on Valentine Day’s eve, working. She hasn’t called either. He phone is not reachable too…

(This post is now abruptly stopped. There has been a Fire Alarm at my office and Its a fake!!! Somebody got too steamy in love on V-Day i guess.;) )