I love my wife! In many ways, to be precise. Living with her has changed my outlook towards life itself (possible oxymoron statement).
The first time she came to my apartment, i took her on a ‘tour’ of the place. We entered my bedroom and i decided to nag her by telling that, as a bachelor i was happy and lead a very comfortable life.
With she standing by me by the bedside, i had to prove my point. I told her, everyday i’d come home from work, take off my t-shirt and just toss it on the bed and i did the same right there – took off my t-shirt and tossed it on the bed.
She being very particular about keeping the place clean is a fact. But how the hell was i supposed to know that she had powers to bend the laws of physics like Neo or may be she would have been trained in some ancient Chinese martial arts form. All i saw in a flash was something moving beside me. Next thing i know is that my t-shirt never landed on the bed and there she was standing beside me with the t-shirt in her hand.
Like the Clint Eastwood character in the many western movies, she just said 2 words, “Not anymore!”, and i knew life was never going to be the same. (or rather i think i saw a cowboy hat, guns and boots and what she might have said was like – ‘Not anymore. Punk!’)
Off late, she blames me for what ever that goes wrong. And trust me when i say this – she blames me for everything, i mean everything.
There is water on the bathroom floor. Why? ‘Coz i didn’t wipe the floor. The closet is leaking. Its my fault because i didn’t fix it.
Now i have reached a point where anything that goes wrong is de-facto my fault!
Last night we decided to go to a discotheque. She was trying on the new denim skirt and ,lets just say it was my bad luck, she couldn’t fit in it as comfortably as she did when we had bought that almost a month back. Now that became my fault. How? Her arguments were so precisely formulated that i was defenseless. It goes like this –
Point 1 – Before marriage she could have easily fit into that skirt.
Point 2 – After marriage she is finding it tough to fit in that skirt.
Now what’s the reason? Obviously she married me. So its my fault that she couldn’t fit in the new skirt. The variable that defined whether she could fit into the skirt or not was defined by the wedding (yeah! even i didn’t see that coming over a skirt!)
Here is another situation as a closing note – She couldn’t wear the jewelry, as advertised now, because we married a bit too early before the new design came out. Now she is planning a re-marriage…
So the secret to our undying love for each other – i just wait for it to become my fault and i gladly accept it!
As i stepped into the cafe, i could easily spot her. She was sitting alone, her eyes fixed at the door waiting for me. Except for the annoying couple, who couldnt keep their hands off each other, and a family seated at the far end, the cafe was practically empty. She had been there quite early and had got us a place.