Of Autos, Buses, Cabs, Drivers etc.

Driving in India is a challenge. It doesn’t matter if you are driving in Kashmir or in Kanyakumari, it’s damn challenging. First, you have the roads or let’s say what’s left of the road and then the way the traffic finds it’s way on the roads.

Getting a license in India is easy. A little bit of monetary persuasion and the Dept. of Motor Vehicles will issue you one right away. Well this process of getting a license is the best way to find whether a person can drive or not. Just ask them casually, “Do you know how to drive?” If they reply, “I have a license” and if they ever happen to drive a vehicle, the one they are in and the ones on the road better be insured.

Even if you’re a good driver, the rest of the traffic on the road makes you feel like Mario trying to dodge the obstacles and reach the Princess. You have buses, cabs, autos, cows, dogs, IT Engineers, traffic police, regular police, women, children … and the list goes on and on.

Let’s take the buses and its drivers for instance. The drivers are good human beings when they are off duty. But once they are behind the wheels of those buses, they take driving a bit too personally. They start to consider the buses as an extension of their prostate. Once that thought gets into their mind, they just need to show off. They attack every gap in the traffic like they are in heat. You better watch out for them. If you ever see ‘em coming your way it’s always better to move out of their way. If not you’ll get screwed.

The cab guys are a bit different. They have regular sized prostate but with a huge ego. They will always approach you from the rear, honking. Then they try to get ahead of you. Once they are in front of you, they will be driving in the middle of the road like they need both the lanes. It doesn’t really matter what you do, they won’t budge.

Ohh the poor auto (tuk-tuk) drivers! It’s like they have the smallest. The problem with a small ‘ding-dong’ is that it comes along with a really really huge… err… ego! People like that just want to go around, screw anything that moves, just so that their inferior manhood is satisfied. This quite explains the manner in which they drive and ‘attack’ on road. A small gap to fit a finger is all that they need to drive through. Now what does that leave one with? Anger, frustration and road-rage!

You think, you have a car and can get even with a puny li’l auto. No you can’t. Pick a fight with one and in a moment there will be a hundred that you have to fend off. Remember, at the end of it they will make you feel that it was all your fault!

Enough of complaining about other drivers!

Have you given a though of how big your dick size is while driving? Just give it a thought! Remember that each time you think you have a bigger dick than the driver in the next vehicle; he too is thinking the same!

Drive safe!

En Route to Office…

Its a beautiful Monday morning … YAWN!!!!!!!!

I dont want to talk about Monday mornings. Like all other Monday mornings, today i was late to get up, slept through the ‘wake-up’ time.

Today i found something that was my time-pass to the way to office in the morning. With all the damned jams and slow moving traffic, these were real amusing…

  • An auto that had no inch left to be decorated with multi-colored stickers, looked like a Pharaoh’s 21st century ride
  • Every damn guys is late and its jammed
  • The chick behind the bike always looks cute on a Monday morning and her beauty-quotient drops as we move to Friday
  • This applies to all the days – 80% of chicks riding a 2-wheeler wear a jacket with either/both the shades of Blue / Red. Its like their universal code.
  • On any given working day, the average body area of a lady covered with clothes, scarfs, helmet etc. etc. beats that of a lady from Taliban lead Afghanistan.
  • The BMTC bus jams the road at exactly the same spot every Monday

and i’m always half crazy on Mondays…

(This post was done on August 19, 2008 at 1:35 am, which is a Tuesday…)