Tag Archives: training

Mallu in Delhi – Part 2

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December 19, 2008 …

I didn’t expect to write this second part the very next day. But something really funny happened that i had to write about day 2.

After taking the session to a crowd, that enrolled itself for the advanced training, for something that they didn’t know, i was quite exhausted. Every time i finish a slide i’d ask them, “Did u guys understand that?”. They all will then have that look like Katrina Kaif just asked them out. Interestingly the only girl in the session, was trying out the student exercises and was cursing big time – “Yeh, kitna ghatiya system hai…”. With all that, i needed a break.

I decided to walk it up to the guest house. After all it was just a 15 min walk from the office. Got out to the main road and got on to a cycle rickshaw. I was told by my friend from Delhi that one of things to try out in Delhi was to take a ride in one of the cycle rickshaws. Hopped on to one of them and as i was nearing my guest house, i changed my plan.

(translation of my conversation with the rickshaw guy)

“Do you know any shopping malls near by..”

“Yes sir”

“Can you take me there?”

“Ok”

So he started peddling. On and on and on. On the way i see one Grand Mall, he didn’t stop there. Then i see a Mega Mall. he didnt stop there either. I asked him why he didn’t stop any where there? He replied that he will take me to a better place. 20 minutes into the ride i end up in a place like the BDA Complex in Bangalore and there was a big red board on top of that building and on it was written in white Arial Bold font – “DLF Shopping Mall”. Yes! he took me to a building named shopping mall. I just couldn’t stop laughing at myself. Paid the rickshaw guy and walked back to Mega Mall. All the way laughing at myself.

So if u ever end up in Delhi/Gurgaon/any NCR region, dont ask for shopping malls. Just ask for ‘malls’. I must warn you, if u cant say ‘mall’ with the ‘o’, and can only say that with an ‘a’; Oops! My advice – stay at home, Delhi is not the place for you. Or may be if you are lucky enough the mall can get you to a place full of ‘mall’.

Mallu in Delhi – Part 1

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December 19, 2008 …

With @fagunbhavsar falling head-over-heels over Parvathy Omanakuttan and vouching that he is going to use coconut-oil for cooking from now on, i just cant stop laughing at the fact that i’m literally bringing the coconut-oil-touch into the shudh-dahi-hindi over here. One of the few things that my friends, or rather the only thing that my friends asked me not to do in Delhi/Gurgaon or any other place in North-India, is to speak hindi. I tried but i couldn’t, the cabbies over here will only reply, “Yes Sir” to what ever you ask them in english.

“Will you pick me up tomorrow morning?”, “Yes sir!”

“or do i have to book a cab by calling up the office?”, “Yes sir!”

So the only was i could was to ask them something was in Hindi, and realize that they are smiling at my accent. Naah !!! i dont care.

I knew the journey had started, when at BIAL, i over heard a kid tell his mom in a thick British accent – “I’m not bull-shiting you mom!!!”. Ya right and i have fluent Hindi!!!.

Its some how destined that every time i travel, something embarrassing has to happen. This time i was brimming with confidence in my new semi-formal jacket, and confidence was overflowing when i saw the Kingfisher Lady at the check-in counter greet me with the broadest smile ever and a well placed, “Have a nice flight, sir!” on parting. Did i just feel like James Bond!. Ya the joy didnt even last for 5 min. I was in for the security check. I had only carried 2 bags for my 5 day trip and the security had to ask me to open one of them.

That fortunate bag had to be the one with all my clothes. No he didn’t ask me to pull out all the clothes. But he took out my deo, my hair cream and pulled out my bottle of Vaseline cream. Oh ya, i use lotion, coz its a dry weather outside and i knew Delhi was going to be worse than Bangalore. Oops i just made it worse! Any way he took it out, and i bet even a blind man 100mts away could’ve spot the bright colored bottle. He said its not allowed. Saving the last bit of dignity, i packed my bag and asked him to keep the lotion.

Then started the boooooooring wait to board the flight. It was so booring that all i could think of was, icon smile Mallu in Delhi Part 1 i had them written down too -

  • How will i stop 2s in sending me the message “Where are you?” every 17mins. I have a very interesting solution to that
  • Should i get married or settle in a live-in – this killed most of the time. I had to settle for live-in, considering the money that i can save or may be with half the money i save i can go on 2 honeymoons
  • Is there any way i can provide proof to Hexium’s question of Chicken or egg?

Thankfully it was time for boarding the flight. Good looking stewardesses, great food, ultimate passenger comfort. I’ll give 4.95/5 for Kingfisher Airlines. Taking away 0.05 coz, everything good in this world is either illegal, banned or owned by someone else.

Finally Delhi airport, it looked clean and different from my last visit. So here is a lesson that i learned long time back and always forget to implement it. Make your bookings/arrangements before hand. Dont think that you can do things impromptu. I didnt book my cab from the airport to the guesthouse and the next cab at my disposal was another 90minutes away. Ohh man!!! More time to kill…

Luckily the cab was there in 20 minutes and i reached guesthouse around 12PM. Off to sleep.

When you desire something true to heart, the whole universe conspires against you. My dad, my mom, my friend, the cabbie, the receptionist everyone called me and woke me up in the middle of my much needed sleep after 24hrs. Decided to call off the sleep and went to office.

I must say, people from Delhi are decedents of some Matrix generation. I tell the cabbie, “DLF Phase II, M 12/29“. Voila! the cabbie takes me there. Another set of numbers and there i’m staring at my destination. How do they do it? I do understand that its their place. But its just mere numbers. C’mon its like memorizing websites by their I.P. addresses. May be they should crack this on the next season of Myth Busters!!!

I’m looking fwd for the next 3 days of training … i hope they dont sleep off…